Everyone you’ll hate in the David Wilson

I’m trying to learn over here

The David Wilson library is a sacred place at Leicester University. You’ll spend your years at uni there cramming for exams, hastily writing essays and grinding Pro Plus tablets into shots of espresso, trying not to cry onto the keyboard of your laptop.

That said, it does have its bad parts. Here’s a comprehensive list of all of the people you’ll grow to hate in your time in the David Wilson.

Welcome to your second home

The freshers

Sorry freshers, but your grades don’t even count yet. You’re just taking up valuable chair space for those of us who actually need to get some work done. Go for some drinks and lighten up. First year is a time for living, not lib-ing.

The people who save seats for hours and never come back

If you leave your books in a space for more than two minutes whilst you go to the loo, you are one of the worst people on the planet. You really just want to watch the world burn, and everyone hates you for it.

What are you doing

The people who get all the textbooks weeks in advance and then keep them forever

You go to get a textbook the week before your essay is due in, and all those hard workers have already nabbed all of the copies and left you to struggle to find info solely on Google Books and Wikipedia. Please, have some mercy.

The talkers

People who sit in the quiet or silent zones of the library where all the medics and serious students are, and then proceed to talk about boy probs or that night out at LetsDisko last week at the top of their voice rather than doing any work. Why you even here mate?

Read this please

The people who listen to music so loudly you can hear it three seats away

I know you have headphones in but I can hear your Chris Brown blasting so loud I can’t hear myself think. How can you even concentrate? And why are you listening to Chris Brown anyway?

The people who spread out far too much

Are you OK?

So there’s a whole table there with four chairs but you’ve managed to spread your books, laptop and pens out so far that it effectively stops anyone else sitting there. Sharing is caring – spare a thought for those of us who only have 24 hours to write 3,000 words.

The people who open their laptop while sat at a computer and don’t actually use the computer

So daddy paid for your laptop but obviously couldn’t provide you with any common sense. Go and sit somewhere else, please.

Stop this madness

The people who are actually productive in the library

They sit next to you and frown every time you open Snapchat or Facebook whilst they rapidly manage to copy out four lectures worth of notes and write 5,000 words. Ok fine, you’re a hard worker, I get it. But don’t judge me. You don’t know my story.

The quiet patrol

If you talk, they will find you, and they will hand you a strongly worded note telling you to refrain from making any noise. Including breathing.

The Yik Yakkers

Yik Yak is a terrifying tool in exam season used to shame library seat hoggers, point out the mysterious blonde girl with the real nice arse, and that jean jacket library BF who’s being cyber fought over by five different girls. David Wilson library or Big Brother house? Isn’t Yik Yak a bit 2015 guys? Let’s leave it there.

Yeah go on

The couples

If I’m trying to learn about the Cold War or something I don’t want to constantly look up to see disgusting public displays of affection all around me. Keep your tongue firmly in your own mouth. The library should be a safe space free from such scenes.