Socials, tour stories and ‘squinty fingers’: Netball captain reveals all

Leicester netball club captain Lauren Brain, spills the beans on the biggest women’s club in the uni.

Lauren Brain, Netball club captain

Who’s the most vain?

Izzy Trompetas. She’s the most fussy about men – they have to be super good looking and be a bit of spice.

Least likely to graduate?

Courtney Billing, she never goes to lectures. I think her record was 100% attendance for a week and then she was only seen once in 6 weeks.

Most trouble you’ve gotten into as a club?

Definitely bringing eggs into the union on the first social. The trouble we got into was no yolk, someone got banned from the O2.

Most aggressive?

Beckie Jones wins the award for this one. Lets just say she had to sort a rugby boy out on tour and did so quite thoroughly. All for one and one for all eh?

Biggest closet gay?

Definitely me. On tour they called me “squinty fingers” cos I have squinty eyes and kept trying to finger everyone…I also showered with another player and there was a lot of nakedness on my part”.

Most attractive?

Has to be Izzy Trompetas, Abbie Hutchinson and Emily Roberts but there’s probably not anyone I would turn down.

Who’s the dirtiest?

Honor Hodgeson. No competition. She washed her netball dress once last season. The rest of us washed it weekly. She also threw up in her bed once and just turned the mattress round so it was at her feet instead. She’s also a bit of a knicker-wetter.

Biggest melt?

Lauren Brown is a walking melt. The cheese toastie of the world. Also Grace Brady, who on tour, claimed she was “allergic to the sun” and generally moans about everything.

Most likely to do the stride of pride?

Me probably. And Alisha, let’s just say she’s not unfamiliar with the penis.

Most aggressive on the netball court?

Elle “elbows” Djukic.

Secret slut?

Lizzie Sutton – we’ve all seen the picture.

Best accent?

It’s a fight between Northern Irish Jemma Bingham, Welsh Lowri Gwyneth Williams and the unmistakably northern Emma Sutcliffe- t’supermarket game is priceless with her”