People who claim they don’t do revision are twats

People who claim they don’t do revision are twats.

Okay, so hands up, I surrender. I am the named twat. Except I’m genuinely that person who waits until two days before, grabs themselves a bottle of wine and buckles down to spider diagrams and what feels like eternal stress.

By the end of the two days of hell, I’m not understanding the meaning of the word ‘the’ and I’m contemplating every word in the dictionary because chances are, I’ve spent a good deal of my time staring at them.

But, we all have that friend who claims to do no revision. Somehow, that lazy-arse which may or may not be like yourself, gets a first at the end of exams, while you’re busy crying about your third even if you’ve spent every waking hour rigorously learning the philosophy of Nietzsche.

“You really shouldn’t bother. I mean, I don’t.’

They’ll look at you, shrug in their nonchalant way and say they’ll start tomorrow. Or, their version of ‘no revision’ is a good few hours a day and not every single waking moment.

The truth of that twat who claims to do ‘no’ revision is: they probably wake-up and the first thing they’ll plan for their day is how many revision cards they can complete. The twat will colour co-ordinate their folders, take out every book in the library, (chances are, they’ll put every book you want on hold too) and spend unfathomable amounts of time in said library-quiet zone of course.

Or there’s the worse alternative: that claim is true, the twat genuinely did not revise and they still get a first, avoiding the two days of pre-exam hell!

They take out books, the rest of us weep uncontrollably…

There’s a self-assured arrogance about it; a knowledge if they drink themselves into oblivion, turn up to lectures still slaughtered and spend the rest of the time sleeping, they will still be rewarded with a first.

The arsehole probably will too, or they’ll get a 2:1 and whinge until next exam season they deserved better.

Wonder if they sleep next to a book, they absorb the knowledge… the bastards

A final word of warning: do not trust that twat who claims to not revise. They have either been revising since they heard the word ‘exam’ or, they never plan on doing so due to arrogance.

And especially, do not compare revision with them, because it may give you a shock.