It’s time we admit Bonfire Night is massively overrated

Halloween is over and you're probably nursing a hangover, a cold, or both, so naturally you want to catch up on sleep. But no, you can't. Why? Because all you can hear night after night are bloody fireworks as part of the pointless tradition of celebrating a failed plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament 400 years ago.

Sure, fireworks look pretty, but it's time we all admit that Bonfire Night isn't actually as good as everyone pretends it is.

It's never just one night

As with everything, there are always people who take things too far. One night of fireworks is something we can all probably put up with, but for some reason there's constant noise from Halloween to mid-November. It's unnecessary and annoying, surely we can all agree on that?

It can be really dangerous

A combination of fire, explosives and alcohol is a recipe for disaster. Bonfire night brings so much potential for things to go badly wrong, from bonfires spreading, to a dodgy firework causing serious injuries. Is it actually worth it to look at a few lights in the sky for half an hour?

It means standing in the freezing cold

Unless you're blessed with an amazing view from your bedroom window, Bonfire Night means walking to wherever your local display is being held and shivering in the cold for hours. Thanks to our old friend global warming, it probably isn't as bad as when our parents were growing up, but let's be honest, November is still freezing!

It's a HUGE waste of money

Fireworks are never just fireworks. It's always fireworks and mulled wine and sparklers and hot-dogs, and someone always uses it as an excuse to go clubbing afterwards. Our bank accounts are already drained from buying Halloween costumes, and we're desperately trying to save for Christmas – the extra expense is just pointless.

The fireworks never live up to expectations

Unless you're in Disneyland, fireworks are guaranteed to let you down. Either you set off a few in your back garden knowing fine well they're going to be disappointing, or you pay to go to a professional display. Even then it's hardly the Thames on New Years Eve. You'll convince yourself you had fun to justify the time you spent standing in the cold, but in reality you could have had a night in watching Netflix, which would have been more fun and much warmer.

Fireworks can be traumatising for pets

SOMEBODY THINK OF THE PUPPIES!!