A definitive list of all the people you’ll meet on a night out in Leeds

Let's be real, with nightlife like ours, nobody came to Leeds with studying in mind, and a night out here just isn't complete without engaging in some kind of bizarre interaction. Everybody falls into at least one of these categories, and if you don't think you do then you're just lying to yourself.

So, whether you are getting groovy in Mischief, or falling over in Fruity, here is an accurate list of all of the people you will undoubtedly end up bump into on a night out in Leeds:

The write off

Pres are the best part of their night, as it is the only chance they get to listen to some guilty pleasures before immersing themselves in the Leeds techno culture which they pretend to love.

It's also the time to get as pissed as possible. But this can be a curse as well as a blessing, as they will certainly take it way too far. By midnight, The Write Off will be tucked up in your bed, with a washing-up bowl balanced underneath their head. There’s no way they're getting chun on your sheets; as if you're about to wash the duvet again.

The one

It's safe to say that Leeds attracts some ridiculously hot individuals, and you'll probably be marvelling at someone's gene pool on most nights out. Obviously, you're not about to try talking to them or grabbing their attention, so you just stare at them longingly all night instead. Despite concealing your existence for the whole night, you're shocked and heartbroken that they didn't fall in love with you. You'll end the night in your own bed enjoying a Crispy's and a good cry.

The One(dering Hands)

Yeah, you'll never attract the attention you actually want. Instead, you'll accidentally make eye contact with that creepy guy and his wandering hands. You’ll use various creative tactics to get away, but he never takes any hints and turns the night into a strange game of cat and mouse around the club.

It might be a reluctant last resort to make him go away, or just a really drunk case of "you’ll do", but somehow this guy often succeeds in pulling someone by the end of the night. The fact that he's managed and you haven't will become a cause for tears on the way home, again over a Crispy's.

The sports socials

In a room filled with people dressed to pull, there will be a sea of students dressed as fruits and other inanimate objects. Unlimited access to£5 rounds and sambuca have rendered them all completely spangled, but they’re still immune to the wrath of the bouncers.

Apart from that one buff male team who turn up in shirts and ties, no one actually looks good on sports socials. However, they still seem to be the ones pulling, possibly because they’ve all been drinking since 8 pm. It makes for quality observations; nothing’s more amusing than a rugby lad in a bodycon dress trying to neck a shepherd.

The 'edgy Leeds' one

Although this is how they’re labelled, it’s debatable how edgy they actually are as they're all pretty similar. If you aren’t one of them, you’ll stick out like a sore thumb in places like Wire and Beaverworks. They're all pinging, sipping Red Stripe and wearing flares that nobody else can pull off. They’re a bit too cool to embarrass themselves or act weird, but the volume of them makes them worth a mention.

The Zombie

Leeds is no stranger to casual substance abuse. Many attempts to hide their intake, armed with funky sunglasses and chewies, which has ironically become a kind of drug-taking uniform. But some people are less subtle and can be found standing on their own in the middle of the action, gurning with pupils the size of the moon. Despite looking beyond okay, they always insist that they're having "a sick time". Once you're starting to sober up and dream about what you're about to get in Maccies, you'll kind of envy the party going on in their head.

Your new best friend

If you’re not into the edgy stuff, you might prefer high-quality entertainment such as Fruity or Pryzm. There’s something in the water (or vodka) in these places, because everyone in there gains best friend status within two minutes of drunk chat. Maybe it's the girl who compliments your jeans in the loos or the random lad who is buying you shots. You’ll have no idea who they are, but spend all night with them and promise to stay in touch after. The morning after, the only trace of them is double the dent in your bank balance, and a new snapchat contact; it’s only at this point that you’ll find out their name. You'll never see this person again, but will carry on watching their stories for the rest of the year.

At least the weird interactions make for good hungover conversation.