Here are the five things that boys should absolutely stop doing on Tinder in 2019
It’s time to up your game
Ah, good old Tinder. Much like university, we love it and we hate it at the same time. It always seems to get deleted when we’re sober and re-download when we’re drunk. But either way, that little red flame emoji always ends up back on our home screens one way or another.
Whether you're looking for the Baldwin to your Bieber (why can I not think of a better example) or just trying to get over your ex Selena (sorry again), it’s the app a lot of students seem to be turning towards to cure their dating blues.
But, whilst Leeds Biological Sciences student Sam Dixey went viral for making a PowerPoint to win over the ladies nearly a year ago, it seems most guys are struggling to channel this level of creativity when it comes to making a tinder profile.
Therefore, I present to you the ultimate guide on how to win over all the eligible bachelorettes of Leeds, approved by girls everywhere (about six of my flatmates and four of my course mates), through five simple changes.
No one is actually that bothered how tall you are
And this goes out to boys everywhere. You might think it's original to have "6'3" because apparently that matters" in your bio, but I’m not exaggerating when I say that at least 50 per cent of boys feel the need to add this catchphrase to their profile. You may as well put "I couldn’t think of anything interesting so I went with this instead". Sorry, but it’s 2019 and we demand better. Thank u, next.
We’re not going to spend 15 minutes scrolling through group photos to figure out which one you are
So, congratulations on having a lot of friends. But when your first, second and third photos are all of you and your pals in someone’s kitchen at pres before Canal Mills, you’re probably going to get a no.
Even though girls are better detectives than the FBI when we want to be, chances are your possible future wife isn’t going to take the time to scroll through three different group photos trying to work out which one you are. Show us ya face.
Can we please leave Snapchat captions in 2018?
Strategically placing the Snapchat caption to cover a spot on your face
— Eóghan (@Eoghan_Flanagan) January 10, 2019
Fair enough, you have no storage on your phone so you’ve resorted to Snapchat’s top quality camera for taking photos on instead. Haven’t we all. But please, take the time to find a photo of yourself without a bar of writing saying something like "off out" or even better "off to players with the lads" on it. Seeing Snapchat captions on Tinder always reminds me of a) being in Year 10 and b) the dog filter, neither of which are good. Speaking of which, please please let there be no dog filters.
That cool video? Don’t put it first
Maybe you love that video of you skydiving in Kuala Lumpur or downing five VKs back-to-back at Fruity, but if you set it as the first thing on your profile, there’s gonna be some issues. It is possible that my phone is just very very broken from being dropped in Crispys and Flames too many times, but videos never seem to load for me. So yes, Jake from Norfolk studying Astrophysics, maybe I am missing out on that video of you breathing fire, but I just cannot be bothered waiting for it to load.
‘Hi x’ is not an acceptable slide into the DMs
You don’t need to write an epic poem (unless you’re a lit student who's into that) but most girls I speak to say they will never respond to the absolute zinger that is "hi x". We all already know how the whole conversation is going to pan out:
"How are you"
"Not bad thanks how are you"
If it works for you then by all means carry on, but if you seem to get aired a lot, I’d consider switching your first line to literally anything other than hi. Anything, literally ANYTHING will be better than that.