How to impress your southern friends now they’ve decided to move up north

Of course it’s not cold outside


If you grew up in the North of England, the first time you'll likely encounter Southerners on a large scale is at uni. Some of them will be surprisingly nice and you may even become their friend, but there's no denying they come from a totally different world. Here are all the things you can do as a Northerner that they will find weirdly impressive.

Go outside without a coat between October and May

Aside from a couple of months in Summer (if you can call it that) it's pretty cold up North, but when you've been brought up here you develop a resistance to it. You'll turn up to uni in jeans and a t-shirt while your Southern friends shiver in their coats and complain about the "chill in the air" which you just don't get in London. Come December you do begin to suffer on nights out, but you're too stubborn to admit it.

No coats in sight

No coats in sight

Pretend you know someone from Geordie Shore

The first thing anyone asks if you tell them you come from within 50 miles of Newcastle is whether you know anyone from Geordie Shore. The truth is you hate the way it portrays your gorgeous home town, but if you say you're friends with Scotty T it does sound pretty impressive. To be fair your friend's, friend's boyfriend went to school with someone whose sister slept with Gaz – that counts right?

Teach them some Northern slang

If you're Northern you'll no doubt have to endure some Southerners trying to copy your accent, and they do such a bad job it makes you cringe. But why not use their obsession with the North to your advantage and impress them with some slang. Just don't tell them you've never actually heard anyone say "See that gadgie at the front of the geet walla queue?" in real life.

Blag yourself some free drinks

Being Northern doesn't give you any particular advantage in flirting your way to free drinks, but when you're used to paying £6 for 3 trebles, you feel like you have no other option. Your Southern friends get the first round in at £8 a drink and think it's cheap, while you're suffering a mild heart attack. You know it's time to impress them and protect your bank account all at the same time.

It's either 2 for 1 or time to sneak out the hip flask

It's either 2 for 1 or time to sneak out the hip flask

Teach them how to be friendly

Don't get me wrong, I have friends from down South who are lovely people, but if you walk up to a stranger in London and start chatting shit the way we do up North, they'd probably call the police. Be honest, you've never met anyone from Leeds, Liverpool or Newcastle who isn't one of the friendliest people on Earth.

Drink them under the table

Sadly I think I missed out on the Northern drinking gene, but most of us will drink double what the Southerners do and still be standing by the end of the night. I guess that comes with growing up in a place where alcohol is as cheap as soft drinks.

Shots = on the table, you = under it

Shots = on the table, you = under it

Introduce them to Greggs

Who needs a fancy Pret salad or an M&S meal deal when you can grab a sausage roll and an iced bun for half the price? They'll likely be sceptical at first, but once they've tried it, it'll be their go-to lunch spot.

Home sweet home

Home sweet home

Invite them to Newcastle

Leeds is fab, but Newcastle is the ultimate Northern experience. Big up the nightlife, the people and general atmosphere and your Southern friends will be begging to venture further North than they've ever been before.