We need to talk about how sex ed in the UK is an absolute joke

I’ve been at Leeds University for a month and the only advice anyone's given me about sex is to not walk through Woodhouse Moor because it's the "anal rape capital of the world". I can’t help but feel unsafe with the lack of education/ conversation surrounding sexual health/ wellbeing on campus.

At nearly 20 years old all I know of Gonorrhoea is from online articles. It’s great to know how to slide a condom onto a banana – but not everyone is attracted to "bananas". SRE (Sexual Relationship Education) in UK schools is sub par. I went to a Jewish State Comprehensive secondary school and was only taught about the hetero-normative/ biological aspects.

My experience is not rare. A recent study by Durex revealed just how little young people know about safe sex, with 4 in 10 admitting they need to know more about contraception and over half demanding more information on privacy and consent. And with 19% turning to porn as their main source of sex education, it’s no surprise unrealistic and potentially unhealthy attitudes about sex are being cultivated during adolescence.

Eighteen year olds are turning up on campus totally ill equipped for the smorgasbord of sexual opportunities that await them. Not only are we not being educated, free condoms and advertised STD testing are not obviously available. Student Shannon Moor was surprised by this: "when I got here I expected something in the welcome package, to say be aware, have some free condoms or a leaflet – anything. There was nothing."

Students like myself may not know the ins and outs of dental dams but sexual harassment and assault are topics which most young people involuntarily encounter day to day. At my school it didn’t need to be on the syllabus to be talked about it. Assaults at parties would be referenced frequently and casually as though it is normal and acceptable.

A Tab survey found that 44% of incoming female first-years around the country were concerned about sexual assault during freshers' weeks, and of those, almost all (95%) were worried they would be assaulted by another student. The survey of more than 2,400 students found that the vast majority of those concerned about assault were women but anyone can be a victim regardless of sex, race, class and gender.

As much as I didn’t want it to be, it is a factor which has limited how comfortable I feel going clubbing. In a new city, surrounded by new people it takes time to feel safe. Given that I grew up, and learnt how to drink and party, in London I’m sure it is even more daunting for those who’ve grown up in villages where a night out is visiting one pub that has half a dance floor and someone's uncle slumped in the corner.

First year Leeds student Anna Llewellyn saw first hand why the University (and city) of Leeds need to increase awareness surrounding safe behaviour and the risk of sexual assault/ harassment. "I think someone in my block was roofied . It's a problem at uni". While it is not the victim’s responsibility to stay safe we must educate on the dangers of 'roofies' ('date rape drugs') and how to try to protect yourself. Llewellyn found it "scary that no one pays attention to their drinks in clubs.״

Going out in Leeds I was surprised not to see posters on loo door’s saying what to do if you’re on a bad tinder date or don’t feel safe for any reason on a night out. In the Fenton pub there's a sign offering a tampon at the bar if you suddenly start your period but no help if you feel unsafe. Wharf chambers (a co-operative space that hosts club nights) operates a "safer spaces" policy, which is emailed out before events. I emailed my Uni’s welfare officer, expressing my concerns, and was told there’s an "ask for Angela" scheme in union bars/ clubs- but no one I know is aware of it and I’ve not seen it advertised on campus.

At Durham university, they don't let students join societies/ clubs without completing an online consent module first. Student Asha Sumroy found it to be applicable to students with different levels of experience/ education- not just "beginners". "I think it's actually as important that people who think they know it all are forced to questions themselves, because that's so often where the issues of consent arise from." Sumroy found it to be a productive method: "I actually do feel a lot safer knowing that everyone who's joining Durham this year has had to go through this same course."

However, Durham is known not for strides towards consent education but for strikingly high reports of sexual assault. The 36 reported attacks that have taken place over two years is the same number as at the University of Oxford, but higher proportionally, given Durham’s smaller student body.

So maybe Leeds Uni shouldn’t be taking notes from Durham, but at least they’ve opened up the conversation. Talking openly and frankly around issues surrounding not only sexual health but sexual happiness is necessary. The conversation and education on campus around sex doesn’t need a complex introduction. It just needs to come already.

Illustrations by Daisy Bernard