We asked guys and gals for their best morning after stories

‘By the front door was a cardboard cut out of him and his girlfriend’


Believe it or not, there are students out there who have never had a one-night stand. They’ve never experienced the walk of shame in last night’s clothes with that pit in your stomach, and no conscious memory of what actually happened (after the 10 shots that were a great idea at the time). I mean – you can’t blame that some people just aren’t interested in doing this. And honestly, after the majority of horrifying stories there are out there I’m not surprised.

What is possibly the worst thing that could happen? Realistically?

"I left a boys house the morning after our one night stand in his full Adidas tracksuit (that was ten sizes too big for me), last nights makeup on, no shoes and saw pretty much everyone I knew as I walked home through campus.”

"I woke up in Dominican Republic in bed with this girl and I heard a knock at the door. It turned out to be her strict German parents ready to go to breakfast. She had to blag to them that I had arrived this morning.”

"I slept with a mum of 3 in a hotel and her female friend turned up wanting to get involved. The mum of 3 then dropped me home to my parents house in the morning”

“I went abroad met this guy quite soon into getting there. We went to a house party and long story short ended up sleeping with him. All is normal the next morning until he started saying he wanted to move back to England with me…. after 24 hours of knowing him. Didn’t see him again after that. 5 pump chump…”

"I had a one night stand 2 years ago and haven't been tested since. I got back with my boyfriend the day after too."

"After arriving at this boys house, I was bombarded with abuse from his mum because apparently he had a girlfriend. After lots of denial and ignoring them, we went upstairs and did the deed."

"As I go to leave, by the front door, was a cardboard cut out of him and his girlfriend. I moved it and left. Safe to say I haven’t seen him since.”

"After a girl swallowed, she said it tasted like tomato soup, which she liked the taste of. Best bash out the croutons next time.."

“I slept with another girl and the next morning I woke up to something wet on my leg. She’d wet herself in her sleep because she was probably too drunk. I got in the shower and when she woke up I told her to leave.”

"Went to the football boat ball with my date last year and woke up in another girls bed and don’t remember anything. In all fairness, I was told that my date did go home and I didn’t long her off.”

“I slept with the same boy twice and both times he couldn’t get it up. I was shocked when I got a fb request but turns out he’d forgotten his wallet.”

“Woke up after a one night stand and couldn’t find the condom. The guy was long gone (typical), so me and my friend searched but couldn’t find it. We assumed he’d taken it and I had no way of contacting him. 2 weeks later I found it. In my shoe.”

“I had a one night stand with a 30 year old and the next day he invited me to a family bbq. I was 19 at the time.”

"Its safe to say it wasn’t the best one-night stand. After mugging me off 3 times before sleeping together that night, he then suggested that I’d be more comfortable in my own bed. After walking home full of rage and embarrassment, I then woke up to the news that my dog had died.”

“I lost my virginity on a one night stand and mid way through I realised the guy had a gooch piercing.”

“I walked across campus after a one night stand as a dead angel holding my contact lenses in a cup.”

Think you can do any better? We'd love to hear them. Send your best morning after confessions to [email protected]

Illustrations by Daisy Bernard.