Everything you can expect from a night out at Bongo’s Bingo

Prepare for the best night of your life

Until recently bingo was reserved for the over 60s but a new, alcohol fuelled bingo sesh is coming to town. If you’re one of the lucky few who manages to bag a ticket before they sell out then this is what to expect from your mad night at Bongo’s Bingo.

You’ll inevitably go too hard on pre-drinks

Everyone is sceptical to begin with- how much fun can a game of bingo be, right? You’ll load up on the red stripe and vodka mixers and end up completely hammered before you even start getting ready so your obligatory edgy glitter will be mostly on the floor instead of your face.

You’ll try to walk to the venue to save money

And end up calling an Uber anyway (but not before you walk around in the rain and watch the little glitter that you managed to stick on wash away). You’d be lying to yourself if you said you knew where Canal Mills actually was.

Get yourself a friend who’ll carry you when you can’t walk any further

You’ll feel like the only person who has no idea how to play bingo

When do I shout Bingo? What’s a house? Does the line have to be horizontal? Soon enough you’ll realise that nobody really knows what they’re doing and just play along.

You’ll make a false call and be mortified

It happens to us all- after a few too many drinks and a complete lack of understanding of the game you think you’ve won the giant unicorn only to realise you definitely haven’t been playing the game right. They’ll make you stand on the table and have the entirety of Canal Mills sing ‘why the fuck you lying’. Embarrassing, yes, but also a unique experience to have a guy dressed as Tinkerbell standing on your table and ripping up your bingo card (although I’m still sad I didn’t get to take the life size cut out of Will Smith home).

You’ll make best friends with everybody on your table

There’s nothing like three bottles of wine to get people talking and soon enough you’ll be picking up your neighbours from the floor and helping them check their bingo card. You’ll probably never see them again but you can bet you’ll be telling them how much you love them and promise to share all your prizes.

There’s always time for a quick photoshoot

You’ll dance to the most bizarre mix of songs

Dancing in the Moonlight? Strictly Come Dancing theme tune? A Whole New World? 5678? There’s not a single banger missed from Bongo’s Fruity-esque playlist and I’m absolutely here for every one of them. People from the ages of 18 to 80 will be up on the tables no matter what song is playing, although you’ll probably regret wearing that miniskirt.

You’ll spill wine all over your bingo card

But by this point, you really won’t care.

Bingo card pre spillage

You’ll drink far too much and fall off the bench

As above – you really won’t care.

Promise we had more fun than the guy on the left- he was probably sick of us falling off the bench.

You probably won’t win a prize but you’ll feel like a winner when you realise it’s only 11pm and Fruity is still open

Seeing as Bongo’s starts around 6pm it can feel like the night is already over but, fortunately, it’s barely even begun.

You’ll end the night in Crispy’s/Flames/greasy takeaway of choice

And whilst you’re shoving chips in your mouth you’ll probably book your ticket for the next time Bongo is in town so you can do it all over again.

Our favourite doorstop in our favourite takeaway