Everything you’ll know if you’ve ever been a waiter at uni
Don’t forget you cooked all the food yourself
All you wanted was a little extra money so that you could order the Fino sides at Nandos without feeling guilty. But five months later and you've perfected your "customer is always right" face, "I'll go speak to the chef" voice and have designed your very own code with your friend so that you can bitch about your tables when you're literally standing right in front of them.
You've been yelled at for the price of food and drink
For some unknown reason, Susan thought that it was your decision to charge £5.75 for a small Pinot.
Cue a five minute lecture on how she is 'never coming back here' whilst all you can do is stand there and wish that she would pass you the bloody glass as it might make a change to the £4.25 bottle of White Peach and Mango Echo Falls that you're currently necking at pres.
Equally as bad, you've been yelled at for the actual food on the menu
Because despite only being a local pub, Lucy can't believe that you're unable to cater for gluten free vegans with peanut allergies like her.
You've flirted for tips
You can't help it. Every time someone gets out their card you're reminded of how deep into your overdraft you are.
A shit joke here, an overenthusiastic laugh there and there's another fiver lodged neatly under the glasses on the way out.
Hey, those jägerbombs won't buy themselves you know…
You've served customers who it seems get paid to complain
Maybe it's a competition to see how much of the bill they can get off, or maybe they're just assholes.
But to be honest, your steak couldn't have been that chewy otherwise you wouldn't have been able to finish it, would you Mark?
You've witnessed things that make you wonder if the money's really worth it
It's really hard not to be sarcastic when Julie asks you what comes with the Fish and Chips.
Um, Fish… and er, some Chips.
You've served people who you're convinced just came in to piss you off
You just love explaining to the chefs that Debbie wants the ham and pineapple pizza with no ham, no pineapple, but mushrooms instead.
Oh, and can she have cheddar cheese instead of mozzarella?
And finally, you've had heart to hearts with o.a.ps who have filled you with more hope and self confidence than any university ever did
Let's be real, you only broke things off with that guy because Eileen told you he was a bad sort who was holding you back from achieving your dreams.