Everything you know if you’ve just graduated and your life is basically over

Say goodbye to three month long summers


Everyone tells you uni goes sooo quickly. Do you believe them? Nope, not a chance. Instead you spend three years relaxing, drinking, doing a tiny bit of work (but not too much, don’t strain yourself), until suddenly it’s all over and you’re left with the realisation that they were right. It did go really quickly. And what are you supposed to do now? Get a job? Do a Masters? Become a fresher again and basically just rewind the last three years of your life? Whatever you decide to do, just know that everyone is in the same boat, and everyone is thinking the same thing: do I have to be an adult now?

The soul crushing sadness you feel when you realise you don’t have a three month summer because you need to get a job

And pay rent. Maybe find a house. Basically become an adult in all the ways you didn’t while you were at uni.

Complete and utter FOMO for all the A Level students about to head off to uni and start the best three years of their life

Sure, A Levels suck, but it’s the end of June anyway, most exams are finished, duh. Now they get to enjoy a long summer, with nothing to cloud their excitement for fresher’s week except exam results. Oh, and first year doesn’t count, so they actually have a whole year of pretty much doing nothing but clubbing and drinking, while you have to sacrifice your chance of a tan this year and head into the office. Or classroom. Or wherever it is adults go when they have adulting to do.

You will never see your friends again because they, like you, will get a job and never stop working

Maybe when you’re like 65 and retired you can try and rekindle an old friendship? Although who are we kidding, at this rate we’re not going to retire until we’re in our 80s. Might as well give up hope on a social life now.

Suddenly feeling jealous of everyone who did a year abroad, or is going on to do a Masters

Which is ridiculous, because the thought of another year at uni actually working makes you feel sick. You’d rather go to work than do that. But the thought of another year partying with your friends and just chilling? Amazing. Just remember that’s not what those people are going to get. You don’t want to go back to uni, you want to be a fresher again, and that’s what you’re going to have to keep reminding yourself of every time you get an obnoxious snapchat of someone who “wishes you were here” but doesn’t actually mean it.

Every conversation will start with ‘looks like you’ll have to get off your arse and actually do some work now hahah’

Hahahahaha as if I haven’t heard that one before. It’s like every single adult thinks being at uni is nothing but lazing around, going out drinking, hooking up on Tinder, and generally not doing anything to contribute to society. AKA freshers week. And maybe first year. Okay, yeah, they’ve hit the nail pretty much on the head, but alongside that there is still a shit tonne of work that gets done, and most people have a second job. So, I guess you could say students have a better work ethic than most adults, because they get their work done and then manage to actually have fun as well. They’re just jealous sweetie, ignore them.

The realisation that a Wednesday night out is not normal in the real world

Nobody cares if it’s student night cos, well, none of you are students anymore. Getting smashed on a weekday is no longer fun when pretty much every day is a 9am start. But don’t worry, you’ll still have Friday’s and Saturday’s to go out and enjoy yourself. Provided your not too tired of course.

Realising that you’ve wasted three years on a degree that’s useless for the job you want

Turns out to get a job, you need experience. Who knew? And that’s way more valuable than a 2:1 in English Literature, even if it is from a Russell Group uni. You’re suddenly going up against thousands of people who have three plus years of experience on you, because they thought ahead and realised that a degree wasn’t going to actually help them. Maybe in the future, but right now you’re going to have to accept that your degree is pretty much useless. As is the £40,000 plus debt you’re in. But hey, at least you had fun, right?

Tinder is scary when you don’t live within a one mile radius of a uni

Who knew there could be this many creeps on Tinder? Well, apart from the entire Internet, but still. You may have heard about it, but being faced with the sudden reality that hook ups from Tinder might very well be a thing of the past is enough to make you want to cry. You know the solution? Go to a bar and pick up someone the good old fashioned way. Or just get so drunk they don’t seem so creepy anymore. Your call.

Your parents were right (for once): uni was the best time of your life so far, and now you’re miserable and depressed that it’s over

But that’s okay, because you don’t have a job yet so you can afford to spend a few days moping about in bed, wishing you could rewind the last three years of your life. That is until you actually get a job, meet a tonne of super cool people, and realise that actually your life isn’t over just because uni is.