Every type of person you’ll meet in the library this exam season

Exam season is here and, once you actually find a seat, this time of year usually entails hours and hours on end stuck in a dimly-lit, overcrowded, hot and sweaty library.

You can sense the stress the minute you step foot inside. There’s someone crying in the corner, someone else running around like a headless chicken trying to find that one book that will determine if they pass or fail and there’s just a cloud of stress hanging above every single person. But, we all know those people we come across in the library. Guaranteed you will always find these same people working (or, in fact, not working) in the library.

The one who does not stop fucking talking. Ever.

Now, the talker is not necessarily one who isn’t working. Perhaps they are asking their friend a question about revision, saying work out loud to themselves or just gossiping about how “totally wasted” everyone got last weekend. Either way please shut up. No matter what they are talking about, it will always be the slightest level too loud to the point where no one else can concentrate on anything but the conversation happening. It is a library. Be quiet. The signs are not there to look pretty. Shhhh.

The one who talks up all the space humanly possible

This is probably the worst type of person. Any normal person likes to keep themselves to themselves when working, keeping all work confined to one desk. But the spreader decides they are special and needs more than one desk. Sheets spread for miles across tables, flash cards coming out of every corner, the laptop charger reaching from halfway across the aisle to their desk. All in all they are depriving about five other students the chance to work. Exam season is the one time the library is overcrowded. Don’t be this person, everyone needs to revise. Come on now.

The one who eats constantly

In a library we all know the rules about eating and drinking. One bottle of water is allowed in and that is it. But, there is always the rebel, the one who tries to be sneaky. Trying to subtly eat their way through a packet of cheese and onion crisps. Well, there is news for you Mr. Eater. However subtle you think you are, it doesn’t work. Not only is the constant crunching of the packet and yourself enough to distract anyone, but the overpowering smell adds to the already gut-wrenching nausea of revision. Just respect the signs and go outside for a snack. Please, just sacrifice that snack for 10 more minutes.

The one who doesn’t do any work and just shops online instead

Let’s not lie, we are all guilty of this one. Trying to write an essay whilst having four other tabs open in the background never goes well. After 100 words written you decide to treat yourself, have a quick scroll through your timeline. Only to realise an hour later that you’ve procrastinated by buying 2 t-shirts, watching 5 YouTube videos on singing cats and stalked your ex’s, aunt’s best friend for 40 minutes. The Wifi distraction is a curse during revision but there is one piece of advice that can prevent this. Turn the Wifi off, even for an hour. Put on do not disturb, it might help?

The one that isn’t even there

So you finally find that empty seat in the library, sit down and begin to work. Next to you is a desk spread with sheets, a jacket, pencil case and even a laptop, but no person. The hours flick by and still this person has not returned. They are the worst kind of people. By the time you’ve finished your work they’re still not back and the question we all ask ourselves is why? Come on everyone, don’t be this selfish. We all have work to do and, yes, you may make yourself feel better by thinking “at least my stuff is in the library, that counts as revision right?” No. If you don’t want to work, don’t even leave your stuff there in the first place.

Even the library are getting sassy about it

The one who actually does some work

Last but not least we have the actual worker. We all hate this person. They are sat there, typing away for hours on end, writing flash card after flash card. Steam practically coming out of their ears. A pile of textbooks taller than them. You can tell they’re the ones coming out with a first in their exams. You know you’ll find them in Brotherton hiding among the stacks of books, because let’s face it, if they dare show their face anywhere else they’ll be quickly glared out of the room by all the talkers, shoppers, and eaters that fill up the other libraries.

Not to say what they are doing isn’t what we should all be doing, but they make everyone feel guilty about their own lack of work. Of course, well done to you if this is you. But one question, how do you do it?