Every type of guy with a girlfriend on a night out

Everyone likes to think that they won’t change when they get in a relationship, or that they’re mate will still be the same fun lad he always was. This is a delusion: your mate will change, and you better prepare yourself for it. They’ll become a cliche, the type that you used to laugh together about back when you were still single and ready to mingle. But they’re called cliches for a reason, and I bet you can think of a mate for every single one. And if not, then that guy’s probably you. Sorry.

The guy who makes the best wingman

He used to be the guy that got all the action, but now he’s all coupled off he doesn’t care about scoring the hot girls, which is great news for you. He’ll happily chat away to the “ugly friend”, leading her on while you make a move on a solid 8/10 that you have no hope with. Just expect to hear a lot of “who’s your mate” while you’re making your move. After all, there’s a reason he used to be the one getting laid all the time, and not you.

Everyone needs a wingman to do stupid shit like this with

The guy who makes a terrible wingman

He’s up for a laugh, he’ll play odds on, and he’ll still come out every Friday night religiously so he never misses out on a night with the lads. This kind of freedom isn’t just handed to him though, it comes with strings, and they’re not good news for you. The only way he’s allowed out of the house without his gf is with the one sacred promise: “I won’t flirt with any girls”. And by flirt, he means talk to, look at, breathe the same air, you get the picture. So, kiss goodbye to a wingman, and get some better game because you’re on your own mate.

His gf caught him flirting

The guy who acts like he doesn’t have a girlfriend at all

You know the one. He’s the guy that gets the rounds in because he knows all the fit girls are at the bar, or drags you onto the dance floor so he has an excuse to grind on some poor unsuspecting girl. You probably even spot him towards the end of the night sneaking off to the smoking area with some blonde in a black dress that looks suspiciously like the girlfriend he left at home (but you know it’s not her). It’s funny the first few times, but then you just start to feel sorry for his gf. Do you tell her? Of course not. Lads code innit.

The one who ignores his girlfriend all night and wakes up with 30 texts and 17 missed calls

Not to be mistaken for the guy who still acts like he’s single: this is an entirely different beast altogether. You couldn’t possibly forget he has a girlfriend when he spends the majority of the night telling you “I’m not going to text her tonight, she needs to learn that I’m a guy, I can go out with my mates but that doesn’t mean I’m going to cheat blah blah blah”. It’s all bullshit though, which you learn the next morning as you wake up to his high pitched squeal as he realises he has 30 texts, 17 missed calls, even a voicemail message from his mum and a new relationship status. Yeah, he’s got some grovelling to do.

The guy who never comes out because he’s not allowed

Well, he says he’s not allowed, but secretly he’d rather stay in with his gf because it saves on arguments. And money. And to be honest it’s just a nicer night all round. Not to mention she’s subtly reminded him that it’s “date night”. Whether he really did promise or not, it doesn’t matter – he’s backed into a corner and he can’t get out of it. So looks like its a night in watching America’s Next Top Model, secretly loving every second, glad he’s not in a freezing queue waiting to get into a packed club full of sweaty people that spill their drinks all over you.

The one who chats up girls at the bar but it’s okay because he’s just in it for the free drinks

It’s not okay, but he does somehow manage to blag you all free drinks so you let him off.

The one who’s girlfriend comes along and hangs onto him the entire night

She doesn’t trust him on a night out, but she doesn’t want to be that girlfriend. So she compromises and decides to crash lads night, basically ruining the night for everyone. She proceeds to hang onto his hand the entire night, even dragging him with her to the bathroom because she doesn’t want to get lost but she doesn’t have any girlfriends to go with. Duh? This is a guys night. If you need someone to hold your hand when you go to the bathroom then go out with them. And let your boyf have a night off every once in a while.

Totally third wheeling

The one who’s ‘not allowed’ to do shots/laughing gas/play odds on/be out later than 1am etc.

Why are you even out? Seriously. Go home. You’ll have more fun there.

The one who’s totally ‘just casual’ but you know his girlfriend doesn’t think that

“Oh no dude she’s not my girlfriend, we’ve just hooked up a few times, it’s totally casual”. Yeah, that’s why her relationship status is “taken”, and half of your clothes have a permanent home in her flat. That doesn’t stop him from telling every girl in the club a variation of that same sentence when you cock block him for a laugh, but that’s not your problem. They’ll all learn eventually I guess.

What a player

The one who bursts into tears at the end of the night because he just ‘misses her so much’

You snapchat him crying and send it to the lads chat, before taking the piss for the next 5000 years. They’re all secretly jealous that you have someone to miss though, so who’s the real winner? Spoiler alert: it’s you. Although maybe don’t tell your girlfriend you cried like a baby.

Photos by: Mixtape photos from the Taking Liberties Facebook page, Space and Pryzm photos from the VOODOO Events Facebook page