Everything you need to know about the new Edward Boyle
Level 13 is now just for postgrads
At long last the wait is finally over: Leeds’ most sacred monument, the Edward Boyle library has finally re-opened after its year-long refurbishment.
Those old enough to recall the old Eddy B will undoubtedly have fond memories of the place. Sure, it was an ugly brutalist monstrosity of a building, but it was our ugly brutalist monstrosity – revered and admired by all those who stepped through its clunky doors.
So we headed down there to see whether Eddy B’s makeover was worth the hype.
Building on the success of the newly opened Laidlaw library, the new Eddy B has also installed revolving doors at its entrance. It’s a historical fact that no one has ever been able to point out a single benefit of revolving doors. No one.
Visitors to the old Eddy B will also recall spending what seemed like an eternity trying to scan their student card to get past reception. Not anymore. The slick new card-scanning system will get you through the barriers in no time at all. Exciting, hey.
The refurbished library boasts 1000 study places, group study rooms and even a prayer room just in case exam prep is going badly and you have to resort to pleading with God for mercy.
Each floor has its own colour scheme which is ideal for situations where you’re trying to explain which floor you’re on to a mate that lacks a basic grasp of numbers.
Gone are the days of those large wooden cubicles allowing students to get up to all manner of nefarious activities without being stifled by the judgemental eye of their neighbour.
The new layout is all about open plan – just like all those swanky modern offices in London, or whatever.
In the old days of the Edward Boyle, if you got a seat with easy access to a plug you were the king of the castle, a god amongst men – envied by all other beasts in the library kingdom. In the newly-refurbished Eddy B pretty much all the seats have plugs, and some are even kitted out with USB sockets. You don’t feel so special any more do you you plug-wanker.
It seems the university have spared no expenses with with this renovation, they’ve installed state-of-the-art motion-sensor water fountains that refill your water bottle without you having to press anything.
But in the midst of all the excitement of the glitzy new library, we almost missed what is perhaps the biggest revelation of all: Level 13 – known affectionately as level flirteen – has tragically been made into by a research hub exclusive to postgraduates. Where will the lonely hearts of Leeds go to find love now? Certainly not the Laidlaw. This is very bad.
News of the demise of level 13 has shocked the campus. Fourth year politics student Helen Clifford said: “I’d like to send my condolences to the passing of flirteen. RIP.”
But other students are much more optimistic about Edward Boyle’s new look. When asked to comment on the new changes, fourth year politics student and library veteran Dom Ward said: “Eddy B? More like Eddy WOWWEE!”
It seems you can polish a turd.