My response to Glamour’s ’15 things a woman should be or have’

It was written by a man


In a recent issue of French Glamour a man called Jalil Lespert wrote an article called “15 things a woman should be or have.”

Don’t get me wrong, women’s magazines are often found featuring articles about “finding the perfect man” and “what to look for in a partner”, but I have rarely seen something quite as reductive or categorical as this piece.

Essentially a list of criteria that is supposedly representative of what the female gender ought to be like, it dictates exactly what is needed in order for women to be attractive to men, all according to this one man.

By no stretch of the imagination is it the most sexist thing I have ever read, but it conforms to gender stereotypes in such an obvious way, that I find it an objectionable and unpleasant read. Presented like a shopping list of seemingly attainable qualities we can and must have as women, it suggests that if we do not have or agree with what this man thinks, we are therefore not attractive to the opposite sex. Let’s take a few, at a glance.

(Original article in French) :

‘A good fashion sense, to be able to express herself’

 Predictably, the first quality he lists is all about looking good, about physical appearance.

‘Enough fragility to be able to cry on my shoulder’

Then we’ve got the importance of being able to cry, which can be read as a weakness (“une fragilité”) that is counterbalanced by the opposing strength of a male. We weep our tears onto their strong, beefy shoulders, leaning on them to emotionally prop us up – and that’s “attractive”, so – carry on ladies?

‘A desire to always want to have sex, a lot’

Following on…we’ve got willingness for sex whenever the man wants it (“toujours” meaning “always”) and the sexual appetite to want to have copious amounts of it.

CW Photographics

‘To like drinking but not get drunk’

Number 4 then calls for women to like alcohol but, god forbid, they ever get drunk. That would just be embarrassing and frankly un-lady-like.

‘To prefer children over chihuahuas.’

Oh and not forgetting, an essential preference for children over chihuahuas.

Yes, I’m sure it was a joke, but a distasteful one at that. The indirect implication is that maternal instinct is a must in women. We should all have a strong, inbuilt desire to be mothers someday, otherwise we are but fickle floozies with chihuahuas peeking out our handbags.

Should, should, should, should, should. Let’s be honest, this article is offensive, but the issue really is – why on earth are Glamour giving this man a platform to dictate what a woman should be like, and in turn, validating his voice. So no, we don’t need to live up to any specific benchmarks as women, and we don’t need to listen to a man who is, it just so happens, married to Miss France of 2000, the fantastically beautiful Sonia Rolland (who is as close to stereotypical, physical perfection as any woman could be).

Why are we still giving men like Jalil Lespert a platform to voice his own personal expectations in women, and then publishing it for millions of women to read and thus compare themselves to?

We are not Sims characters who have the ability to add personality traits at the click of a button. We’re human beings, each with our own uniqueness, and I am most certainly not going to listen to one French man’s opinion on what I should do or embody, in order to live up to his impossible standards.