The true secret to a successful long distance relationship is Netflix

While coming into the fourth year of my relationship, it seems about the right time to look back an reflect on what has kept it going strong. We spent our first two years of uni together, happy go lucky, but then I decided to venture off as far across the world as possible, and do a year abroad in Australia.

Now I’m back in Leeds, He’s graduated and living in London, but we’re still going. A lot of our friends seem amazed that we stayed together during this (him visiting Aus twice and me coming home for Christmas did help) but during times of prolonged absence, I don’t think we could have gotten through it all without Netflix.

Let me explain. I am quite frankly sick of reading advice column’s that keep suggesting the use of Skype, FaceTime and other online means to have virtual sex. Nope, Na, NO, that is just not going to happen.

Call me old fashioned, but I fail to find anything remotely sexy about dirty talking into a laptop like some sort of cheap chatroom hooker, while my housemate does a shit in the toilet next to my bedroom and the others cook dinner downstairs. No thanks, I’m actually completely alright.

After the issue of privacy in a uni house, one of the biggest issues in a truly long distance relationship is not really having much to talk about. We spent months apart while I was in Australia, with different people, doing different things and so much time passes that you loose day to day things in common.

You are no longer experiencing things together so conversations drift to nothingness. Starting as catch ups, with classic vents about those wasters that always annoy you, and then what? This isn’t a bad sign, it is merely a sign of physical distance so get a grip, don’t break up now or start having circular arguments about nothing. I’ll tell you what you should talk about, you’ll talk about what happened in Narco’s or Breaking Bad, what you think about that annoying guy in Friday Night Light’s (such a great show, please watch it if you haven’t), how annoying the blonde girls acting is in Homeland (honestly, just such an annoying face), or isn’t it great that New Girl’s Winston has really come out of his shell.

You’ll dedicate weekday evenings to coming home early, jumping into bed, kicking back and simultaneously timing your plays so you’re actually watching it together, having the ability to give live bitchy feedback on your thoughts. You’ll receive a message from them to pause whilst they go to the loo or get a drink, and sometimes you will, and sometimes you will just pretend that you have while you happily watch on.

You’ll send or receive a text a 2am, that you’re heading home early after a painfully drab night out and wouldn’t mind putting some cheer back into the night with a cheeky ep’ of Frasier, or commit to of Better Call Saul without you both passing out before it ends.

Back together again

Or waking up in the morning to the news that they watched two more after you passed out and you’ll need to catch up at some point today before the Netflix session happens again that night. You’ll sack of boring drinks at the pub to binge watch the last few episodes of Making a Murderer, and you honestly don’t care.

Netflix (or any online TV for that matter) allows you to be doing the same thing, watching and therefore experiencing the same things and then being able to talk about it all. Which means that the FaceTime sesh’s are a little bit more juiced out with topics if you haven’t seen them for a while. It means that you’re not scrambling for interesting things to say about what you did today, you can revert to discussion of TV shows until you’re finally reunited and able to be the proper couple that you were once more; watching Netflix while being physically together, the good times.

So this, long distance love bugs, in my eyes is the key to a successful long distance relationship. Sack off the advice that tell you to keep strong, tell them how you feel and become an chatroom hooker. Literally just share the monthly payment of a Netflix account and you’ll both be alright.