What’s the worst thing you’ve brought home after a night out?

Everyone’s heard stories about those “legendary” nights out where people have brought home a collection of weird and wonderful items, with absolutely no recollection of how they obtained them – or how to return them. But just how many of these stories are actually true? The Tab went to find out…

Billie Matchett, Microbiology, second year

“I once managed to bring home a cardboard sick bowl, and a Rolex watch. As in, £4,500 worth of Rolex watch. I’m not capable of many things, but inducing a man to swap my shitty watch for his Rolex is one of them.”

William Ellis, Economics

“We’ve got loads of cones in our house now, and loads of signs. It’s become a thing on a night out to just grab building stuff. I don’t personally do it, but all my flat does.”

Jordan Smith, Physics, second year

“My ex-girlfriend’s flatmate.”

Elizabeth Clarke-Lim, Zoology

“I came home one time with a burnt toy teddy bear tied on a piece of string around my ankle. I’m still waiting for the black magic that has probably been condemned onto me to take effect.”

Danielle Stoba, English Literature and Sociology, second year

“Erm, I brought home gravel once?”

Sam Warren, Physics

“It’s not my story, but my female flatmate in halls brought a guy back one night, and he ended up pissing the bed while they were in it together.”

Dan Woods, Physics, second year

“Me and a mate once stole a roadworks sign. It was pretty impressive actually to be fair – those things are much heavier than they look, and we were very drunk. No idea what to do with it now, though, it’s just sort of hanging in our hallway.”

Clare Lether, History, second year

“I came home with a practically broken ankle once, along with some crutches. Also, another time I came home with a  concussion. I’m quite accident prone when I’m drunk.”