How to dress for every club in Leeds

Canal Mills

Girls in elephant harem pants in combo with a green yellow red and black knitted crop top. We all know your gap year consisted of a part time job at Sainsbury’s living at your middle class parent’s house in Kent, and not in Thailand. In addition, you are not Jamaican – but don’t worry it’s OK, what you lack in cultural awareness you can make up in glitter, so religiously bathe yourself in gems maybe even throw in a bindi. Guys continue to bang out windbreakers and those shite Ellesse tees even though I can see it in your eyes you’re freezing because let’s face it, it might stop the wind but those things are about as insulating as a carrier bag.

Beaver Works

Canal Mills’ older, slightly wavier brother with guys in “vintage” sportswear who most definitely overpaid for it on Depop. North Face jackets are an essential item as you stand outside staring glazy eyed into the bomb fire. You can’t find your mate because he came in a basic Ralph cap and not the rare teddy kind. Therefore you must give up hope. No Becky you can not have a dab of my MD. Girls up the glitter even higher now, reaching the levels of what I’m sure Beyonce’s shit looks like. It’s just such a shame it’s getting all over your Kangol bucket hat.

Warehouse

The great rugby lad migration commences. Guys, the night may be called Sticky Feet but that doesn’t give you an excuse to roll your skinny jeans THAT high. Here it’s time for the flannel shirt to really shine – top button done up of course. Girls crop tops and a denim skirt is a must. Overall Warehouse attire really sits on a very average wavelength for the basic Leeds student.

The Wire

The trek through town mid winter in Yorkshire to get to The Wire most definitely requires you to layer up. Ellesse and Adidas track tops come into full appropriation and it’s the return of the North Face jacket. The Wire and Hifi are not only close in proximity but also in clothing style. Find yourself the next morning wondering which one in fact you actually went to.

Pryzm

The VKs are flowing and there are BTEC Kardashian look-alikes everywhere. Girls contouring is Instagram worthy and their eyebrows are starting to resemble that of the Hollister bird. For some reason every girl shops at Misguided in the colour range of black, nude or white. And every guy owns a polo shirt that kids used to bang out in year nine: the only thing distinguishing them from a 13-year-old is the lack of baggy blue jeans and astro football boots. I’m truly sorry for the fact you own a man cardigan… where do you even buy a man cardigan? Anyways it’s Quids In and at least you get waved without second doubting your basic attire.

Hifi

Fashion idol: JME. You like to wear monotone colours because you feel like you are from South London, when really you’re from a small incestuous town in the Midlands. Braids and a crop top with an addition of layered gold chains and hoops really tops it off; giving the city look you’ve always admired on Fire in the Booth. Guys it is forbidden to be seen without that Nike cap that you got from JD sports on the weekend because let’s be honest without it you feel about as edgy as a circle.