LUU Exec candidate’s banner taken hostage by Fruity-goers

Jack Palmer, a candidate running for Union Affairs in the Student Exec elections, had his banner stolen by anonymous thieves on Friday night.

They announced their theft on Yik Yak, thanking Jack for keeping their friend warm after a night out and also claiming that campaigning hadn’t started yet, despite it starting on that day.

The thieves then told Jack that the ransom for the return of the banner would be tickets to Fruity.

Jack then decided to respond with a Liam Neeson-style threat towards the captors of his banner.

Speaking to The Tab about the incident, Jack said: “Well I put this beautiful, hand-crafted banner up on Friday afternoon with a bunch of plastic zip ties, but that was probably a rookie mistake as students do love a good sign to nick on nights out – let alone a handy blanket to keep your mate warm.

“It felt nice knowing it had gone to a good cause and I reckoned them not knowing campaigning had started addresses one of my policies about student engagement, so I gave them a shout out.

“I was in the middle of a campaign meeting with my mates when I saw the second Yak and thought, although I probably shouldn’t negotiate with hostage takers, they deserved to be called out full Liam Neeson style.”

Jack continued: “Hopefully it’s got a few people interested in my campaign as in part it’s the people who feel a bit alienated from the elections (I’m guessing these guys are) who I think LUU should be making more of an effort to engage with.

“Anyway, I guess I’m going to have to think of my response to this pretty serious escalation”

The thieves have since set up a Twitter account called @TakenBanner and tweeted Jack in response to his demands, but only saying “good luck”.

When we contacted the thieves about their crimes, they said: “The winter is harsh and the walk back from Fruity can chill a weary clubber’s bones.

“Having imbimbed enough VKs to forget that campaigning had begun and the banner’s placement was in fact entirely legitimate, we thank Mr Palmer for his involuntary donation of a warming blanket to help us endure the journey.

“It does look good hanging on our wall. He’s been a good sport, so the Welsh Liam Neeson might actually get us to surrender it.”

Here’s hoping.