I lived as a racist for a week

It’s okay, I’ve got loads of white mates


It would be naïve to think that there’s no such thing as racism anymore. With the rise of far-right ideas held by organisations like the BNP, the EDL and Imperium Europa, some say racism is as rife as ever.

And let’s face it, racists get a bad rap these days. Racists now are generally ostracised by people from their own ethnicity, let alone the ethnicity/ethnicities they slander.

But have you actually tried it?

I mean, how can you possibly sit there (or stand there, or lie, or gyrate, depending on how you’re reading this) and put all racists in the same basket?

Isn’t that what you accuse the racists of doing in the first place? You’re basically just being a “racist” against racists. In other words, you’re being a superracist, which is worse.

Now I have a confession. Up to a week ago, I, too, was a superracist (as in a “racist against racists”, just to clarify). But I made a vow. Well, less of a vow and more of a shitty life mantra that all the gap-yah people swear they live their lives by; “don’t knock it ‘till you try it”.

And so I got to work, dropping the “super” in my current title and becoming something I never thought I would – a racist.

Now, I knew that this was a monumental task for one guy to undertake – the bigoted are a complex people. They’re just not like us.

For anyone starting their own racist adventure, I would recommend starting with light, situational racism, like I did.

The best way to get introductory materials, I found, was to look at articles and podcasts from the Knights Party (or, as everyone not privy to their cause calls them, the Ku Klux Klan).

Unlike what you might find in the dark corners of the web, I found articles such as “The Satanic Alliance of Christians and Jews” and “Does the Klan hate the Negroes?” rather tame.

They preached that AIDS was “a disease of not only homosexuals, but a disease of nonwhites”. Only racists know the truth about AIDS.

The man pictured with me is 100% not a racist.

The man pictured with me is 100% not a racist

I also found out that the only negative effect of the Slave Trade in America was that “the gene pool of the white community was destroyed forever.” Enlightening stuff.

If you want to begin your own adventure into their world, you can start here.

With some racism from across the pond under my belt, I decided it was time to begin my crusade against all ethnicities.

I began by trying to make my accent as neutral as I could manage, and wore articles of clothing that were as plain as possible.

I would separate myself from all the races, so I could be a bigot against all of them. It turned out racism fitted me quite well.

Time for the next round. I decided to learn the way of the racists closer to home. It turns out that Anonymous hasn’t caught up to the BNP yet, and so I decided to give them a try.

You know a group of racists have got it right when UKIP don’t even want their acronym on the same slide on a PowerPoint presentation.

I also learned a lot from what racists have to say about other political parties. According to the bigots, the Labour Party consists of a group of “political paedophiles” and the Lib Dems all have a case of the severe disease called “liberalism”.

To be honest, their message is so beautiful, I’m going to let it speak for itself:

The BNP fuelled the fire within me, and I was eager to learn. Having said that, I fear the racism thing became quite confusing at this point.

I felt compelled to stop talking to anyone I knew who wasn’t white, including myself.

Whenever I caught myself thinking to myself, I would instantly throw as many racial slurs as I could at myself, to shut me up. How fucked up is that?

Then I tried to stop talking to anyone who wasn’t black, but that really didn’t last very long.

'White Youth Focus' gained an unlikely reader

‘White Youth Focus’ gained an unlikely reader

And then came the time to hit the forums. Stormfront is a great place to find racists (though I wouldn’t go on the forum without going incognito first…) and so it was my final stop.

I was surprised by the level of racism on the forum. To be honest, the most surprising thing was that I was surprised.

Part of me wanted to aspire to their level of bigotry, but another (more sane) part of me decided that if, at the end of this week, I decided not to become a racist full-time, I’d have a lot of explaining to do.


The Truth(?)

All in all, it turns out that it takes a lot of resilience and determination to be a racist 24/7, and that lifestyle’s not for me. But I think they deserve some credit.

Well, I would give them a round of applause or something, but, you know…

They’re racist.