What Leeds Uni students really think of Beckett

They’re our rivals

We’ve all heard the chants. The university’s middle class ponces shout, “Your Dad works for my Dad!” and the Beckett mob puts down their crayons and retort, “I’d rather be a poly than a cunt!”

But when all the vitriol and testosterone of varsity fades, what do we really think of Leeds Beckett?

We’ve asked some University of Leeds students what they honestly think of our neighbours across the roundabout.

Ellie Cutler studies English and Greek Civilisation. We asked Ellie about her thoughts and feelings towards the inhabitants of the Woodhouse Building.

“Well, I was seeing this boy from Met. And he basically ticked every box on the stereotype checklist.

“From the Gio-Goi t-shirt to his drug-snorting spoon on a chain around his neck – needless to say the conversation wasn’t great.

“He basically admitted to me that he had no interest in his subject what so ever, which was Business Studies, or academia and was basically there because his rich parents told him to be.

“He’s literally the only person I know who goes to Met. I mean he was a nice guy, but just the stereotype”

What’s that they say about a woman scorned? But Ellie didn’t let this ex-perience taint her opinion of the school formally known as Met.

She says: “I think it’s a perfectly credible university, they just have a different set of courses. And are better at sport, annoyingly. And I think they dislike us more then we dislike them.”

Psychology student Ellie Upton – the name Ellie is apparently a University of Leeds entrance requirement – regaled us with her harrowing tale of encountering a Beckett student in the wild.

Shocked Ellie says: “I was once on a night out a Chilli Whites. We were stood in the queue waiting to get in and a girl was complaining about how she really needed a wee.

“Instead of leaving the queue and going to the toilet, she squatted in the middle of the queue and weed all over the pavement.”

At least she knows a lot of psychologists

As if this one David Attenborough-esque encounter wasn’t enough for her two years of psychology training to cope with, she went on to describe another brush with Becketts finest.

“I was in the train station putting some make up on and this random girl who was absolutely smashed came up to me and asked to use my make up.

“I let her and she used half the pot of foundation because she thought she looked like a ghost.

“It took a good 15 mins to convince her she definitely did not look like a ghost.

However, Ellie and her depleted foundation wanted to clarify:

“I’m not a met hater, I have friends from met so they aren’t all bad. And they’re cracking at sport”

History Student David Cowlishaw’s issues with Beckett were sartorial:

“I don’t want to take cheap shots about their university rankings and their hideous campus, nor do I want to moan about how they inexplicably get better bands in their SU than we do.

“It’s those hoodies I can’t stand. Do Beckett students not have any other clothes?

Fashion tips from the guy in the leavers’ hoodie

“If you’re going to have what seems to be a uniform, don’t make it quite so garish.

“Say what you like about the SS, but they looked smart and our friends from Met could learn a few things from them”

Dentist Abs Settipalli concurred: “Why would you wear a garment that let people know you’re not clever enough for uni anyway?

“Maybe if they had better genes they could have gotten in to uni, so maybe the parents are to blame”

Leeds’ finest