Top tips for graduates from Norfolk legend Alan Partridge

Essential life advice for students leaving uni, courtesy of the Mid Morning Matters DJ.


Alan Partridge never graduated from East Anglia Polytechnic, but he’s a man who can read up on any topic to University standard in an hour and than host an entertaining radio phone-in on that subject.

Without anything as pointless as a University degree, Alan has become a media sensation – hosting his own radio show, television chat show as well as the military-based quiz ‘Skirmish’ on UK Conquest.

I popped in to North Norfolk Digital and asked Alan what advice he had for those graduating university this year.

Show no fear in leaving the student bubble

“It’s all well and good buying books second-hand and getting out of bed after midday but you probably couldn’t use a Corby trouser press or reattach a stopcock if it came loose”.

Begin to take pleasure in the simple things in life…

“Nothing is beneath your enjoyment, unless you think you’re Rod Stewart. I will make an exception to this point if you’re reading this and you actually are Rod Stewart. “.

…but demonstrate how culturally sophisticated Uni has made you

“Not my words, the words of Top Gear magazine”.

 

Stay politically engaged

“Once your shaggy-haired sandal-wearing days are over, don’t give up on politics. Just make sure you’re not a mentalist and vote Conservative”.

 

Use your free time more effectively than you did as a student

“One of my favourite ways to spend a Saturday is a James Bond marathon with your friends in your static home. Make no mistake, drinking a bottle of Sunny Delight while watching Roger Moore necking with Fiona Fullerton is bliss.”

Embrace the more sophisticated things in life…

“I imagine many nights at university are spent drinking a quiet pint of lager with a couple of chasers. Now you’re in the real world, social occasions are more likely to be of the cheese and wine variety. Make sure you get the good stuff: Blue Nun is delicious”.

…as well as the less sophisticated things

“I say this as a man who once tried to organise a barn dance at Yeovil aerodrome hosted by Jet from Gladiators”.

 

Give credit where credit is due…

“I know the joy of a well-placed compliment. My popular autobiography was once described as ‘lovely stuff’. Not my words, the words of Shakin’ Stevens”.

 

…but make sure you react well to criticism

“Stay polite, some of these people may have come from Stoke”.

Most importantly, celebrate the fact you’ve finished your degree

“You won’t like to hear it, but students are utterly pointless people. Congratulations on no longer being one.”