The 10 types of people you’ll find at every Leeds house party.

From Mr ‘Up-and-Coming’ DJ to the NOS man in the corner, here are 10 types of people you’ll find at every Leeds house party.

1. Mr ‘Up and Coming’- In the firm belief that this is his big break, ‘Mr up and coming’ DJ’s in a seedy basement for eleven hours. The Ibiza dream is almost tangible.


2. The Lodger- The party is winding down, the sun is coming up, but the Lodger simply isn’t leaving.

He stays until the next day, and the next. By Sunday it’s a tossup between which is  more awkward to ask him- for rent money or to leave.

3. The man who can’t be moved- This guy got absolutely trolley bongo’d at 10pm and has passed out for good.

Most likely in an inconsiderate place, leaving everyone to step over the plastered bastard.

4. Peter Pan Party Goer- The relatively creepy 50 year old from Chapel Town who is dancing out of rhythm in the corner.

5. Your Party Shadow- You’ve seen him at every single house party in Hyde park and harbour a quiet, mutual understanding between the two of you.

You both definitely know how to party.

6. The Hectic Hostess- She massively regrets agreeing to the after party and  is usually found guarding her bedroom door after a conspicuous crack den began to form on her carpet.

7. The Dealer- You don’t remember inviting him but he stands by the door, welcoming your guests even before you, usually with air filled Rizla in return for a tenner.

8. Bathroom Bitches- It’s been four hours and the same group of girls are still in the only bathroom of the house, taking selfies and an angry queue is forming.

Don’t fear though, the bathroom bitch can often be lured out with the promise of ket, loo roll or chewing gum.

9. The Bouncer- They might seem unnecessary for a house party- but not in Leeds.

The bouncer carries out his duties of wrist banding students with more seriousness than that doorman at HiFi. (Almost)

10. NOS Man- He is a Leeds house party essential. You can find him selling twice used balloons to students for a fiver.