11 More Things the Union Should Ban

Leeds University Union certainly appears to be in a banning mood this year – The Sun and ‘Blurred Lines’ have gone. We’re also not allowed Nestlé products or bottled water.

So whilst they’re off making more decisions on our behalf, why don’t they have a look at our list?

From not logging out of library computers to cash machine dawdlers, here are 11 more things LUU need to ban.

1.Flyering

Please don’t ask me, please don’t ask me, please don’t ask… Oh great, now I have a piece of paper to get rid of.

There has already been one campaign against flyering this year. Why don’t our representatives go ahead and act on this one and  people who are just doing their job on campus?

2.Women’s Magazines

I imagine these were probably already next on the hit-list right? Do articles like “Amy Willerton Prefers a real man. Sorry Joey Essex” not offend women more when they are classed as ‘their’ literature? By suggesting women are shoe and celebrity obsessed maniacs, surely these publications will be next for the chop.

3.Not logging out of library computers

Now this truly is offensive, especially when some work needs to be done and they haven’t returned for hours. I’ve come in the library to study, and this selfish idiot has probably gone to Old Bar to have a pint on their own. Down with this sort of thing!

4.Midget Gems

An offensive sweet for people of a certain height, they still sell these in Essentials! As if shorter students don’t have it bad enough with the stupidly wide stairs outside the Michael Sadler building. Get rid of them before someone gets hurt.

5.Banter

This applies to it all. #Banter, ‘bantz’, ‘top’ banter, the lot. I’ve had enough of banter, and the LUU should have too.

6.The Roger Stevens building

Shocking numbering and narrow staircases make trying to get to a lecture a real struggle. Complaints about Roger Stevens are nothing new, so it’s a minor miracle as to why it hasn’t been bulldozed yet.

7.Christmas

It’s barely even December, and I’m already wondering why the bear in the John Lewis advert didn’t eat the hare for buying him that tacky alarm clock. Christmas is way too fun to be allowed on Campus, leave the festivities to the German market.

8.The Music in Essentials

Divides opinion this one, but that won’t matter so long as eight people agree. Whether it’s cheesy and fun or just bad, it certainly can’t be tolerated in the Union any longer. I even heard Lostprophets in there the other day…

9.People who dawdle at Cash Machines

It’s a cash machine. You stick the card in, you push the buttons and money comes out. You don’t need to check your balance or have a chat with your mates. So I recommend LUU imposes some kind of ‘Slowness Stoppers’, or ‘SS’ to make sure everything is in order.

10.T-Shirts and Jumpers with a block, Instagrammed image of a famous city on them

Just not really my cup of tea. I’m sure a randomly selected panel would agree.

11.Democracy

It clearly doesn’t work, I’m sick of having to vote in referendums and student elections. What we need is a group of people who make big decisions on behalf of the student body without much care as to what people actually think.