Campus Safari: Wedgy Girl

We take an in-depth look at one of Leeds’s best nurtured species


The Wedgy (Wannabe Edgy) Girl never meant it to be this way.

She arrived in Leeds as mainstream as they come. It could have been the bohemian ghetto subculture of Bodington life, or the self-proclaimed ‘underground DJ’ in third year that she developed a crush on. Whatever it was, this innocent creature very quickly began to crave the benefits of the oh-so-edgy Leeds lifestyle.

It started with the dip-dyed hair – if Caroline Flack did it, then surely it couldn’t be that extreme, could it? The piercings soon began to stack up, as time spent in the shower decreased, and the aversion to house music was shattered as soon as Cyril Hahn got his hands on a Destiny’s Child song.

Pretty soon, the Hertfordshire princess had evolved into a full-blown Wedgy Girl. An infant cousin of the oft-sighted Hyde Park Hipster, this species is most easily differentiated by its painfully try-hard attitude; weirdly patterned Black Milk leggings that scream “LOOK HOW CRAZY AND DIFFERENT MY LEGGINGS ARE!?!?!”, or oversized clothing stretched to MC Hammer proportions, with eye-catching phrases that say things like ‘Dope Fresh’, but might as well say ‘Look How Fucking Cool I Am, Right?™’.

Pseudo-popularity is the ultimate goal for the Wedgy Girl – she desperately desires BNOC status, but is forced to pretend that she really doesn’t give a fuck. Thus, she treads a thin and dangerous line: ‘accidentally’ photobombing every single professional picture at Flux with her well-faked ‘drug pout’, or sleeping with every sports-team member she can get her hands on, needing no excuse because she’s “so liberated”. Remember when you met her at that house party and she spent the whole time dropping hints that she’s ‘@edgygirlleeds’? Yeah, she isn’t.

No matter how itchy that second-hand tramp beanie is, or how hot and sweaty it gets underneath that XXL sweatshirt, the Wedgy Girl will never allow her façade to be compromised. For the sake of appearance, therefore, she’ll continue her tedious routine,  dabbing artificial sweetener into her gums at Mint Warehouse whilst screaming “This is the best MD eveeeeerrr, I love you guyyyyssss”, as she tries to dance to music which essentially consists of three bass notes and a kick-drum for ten minutes flat.