If you can relate to these 13 things you’re definitely a Lancs Uni fresher

No one is allowed to ask me where I’m from ever again


First year is one of those times where time either goes incredibly slowly or flies by. You make friends for life and then never speak to them again after a night out, eat your body weight in junk food, worry your parents sick with the amount you’re going out, and are somehow still expected to go to classes.

But it’s also one of those times you can never really forget, just because you’ll never go through anything like it ever again. If you can relate to these thirteen fairly unique experiences, you’re definitely a Lancs fresher.

1) Endless rounds of ‘What’s your name? Where are you from? What college? What course?’

You think you’ve got most of it out of the way with your flatmates and the people on your course in the first few weeks, but it’s nearly Easter, and you’re still asking people in societies their names because it’s embarrassing that you still cant remember. We’re all in this together. Maybe we can blame it on a collective lapse of memory.

2) Waiting for someone else to take the bins out

The bin bags will sit on the floor for a week at a time while we all wait for anyone else to take them out because no one wants to carry them down three flights of stairs when you’re on the top floor. You changed the bin bag. That should get you credit enough. Let someone else do the dirty work.

3) More bottles of washing up liquid than anyone needs

Everybody brought it in Fresher’s week, and two terms in, you’re still going through it, and there’s more in the cupboards. No one has bought anymore, and yet it is multiplying. Is this the work of the washing up fairies liquid? No one knows.

4) Regretting your minor

First year is the only year that you can take a minor, and most only have a limited list that they can pick from due to timetabling, interests or departments. I would argue that 80 per cent regret their choices. The other 20 per cent go on to take it for the rest of their degree – it’s a love-hate relationship.

5) The collection of empty Vodka bottles from Freshers week

They become room decor – a talking point when the parents come to visit, to convince them that no, you haven’t had alcohol poisoning. Yet.

6) The collection of leaflets from Freshers fair that no one has got rid of yet

A more positive talking point for the parents.

7) Feeling like you should be more stressed but can’t quite work out why yet

Every single other student is stressed, and you feel like you should join in this aura of stress that seems to permeate campus, and yet you can’t quite work out what you have to be stressed about yet. So you end up being stressed about… not being stressed enough?

8) Attempting to make a 9 am seminar hungover

Everyone attempts to do this a few times before just giving up. I mean, everyone can see right through you – what’s the point?

9) Sultans after a night out!

One of the perks of living on campus in first year has to be the proximity to Sultans, and stumbling off the bus in the Underpass to go home via cheesy chips is the best, hands down. And everyone there is so nice! They give you free water! If unis were ranked on food places, it would get us back in the top 10.

10) Living with your best frenemies

To be thrown into a flat with random strangers for a year is a unique experience, and you can meet your best friends or worst enemies in your first year halls.

11) The inevitable text of ‘anyone mind if I have people round for pres tonight?’

It’s half eight. You’re still studying. Your washing up is soaking in the kitchen. You’re looking forwards to a quiet night in. Then the text comes. They’re going to be here in fifteen minutes. You frantically run to the kitchen, wash up as fast as you can, lock the door, and pray that the noise and mess will be minimal.

12) The moment of realisation that you will ever use half the stuff you have in your kitchen cupboard

Everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) has been dragged around IKEA by an optimistic parent. I have never used a vegetable peeler, but I have one. Their packing lists were far too ambitious for everyday reality when GoBurrito is just there and so delicious.

Image may contain: Face, Kitchen, Pizza, Food, Meal, Interior Design, Room, Indoors, Bowl, Human, Person

13) Joining every society in Freshers week and then never going again

If you took a leaflet and joined a Facebook group and then never showed up to a social, it’s a betrayal.

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