Which classic horror movie are you based on your college?

Cartmel would die first in any horror movie tbf x

Since everyone’s social lives have been as lonely as a graveyard over this past year, we’ve essentially been preparing for the spooky season for an eternity. Mere months ago, it seemed like everyone’s doors were permanently closed and Halloween themed club night was nothing but an elusive dream.

When Halloween night seemed destined for frightful films over an equally terrifying Houseparty connection, many of us likely spent much time comparing the fate of the naive movie characters to that of each college on the Lancs uni campus.

As it turns out, this year’s Lancs students seem at least a little less doomed than they might’ve predicted. But that doesn’t mean the comparisons aren’t still necessary. I think we all secretly want to know which gruesome ending our college alter-ego’s would arrive at if we found ourselves trapped inside the Silver Screen. Plus, if nothing else, they could provide a great last-minute costume idea.

Grizedale – Scream

If ever there was a college that would follow the ominous sound of footsteps or a twig snapping, it would be Grizedale. After enjoying as many 2-4-1 cocktails as their heart’s desire and their bodies (and livers) can take, it is undoubted that Grizedale would end up being the ones chasing Ghostface down with a scythe of their own.

Fylde – Gremlins

Very little can be heard in rumblings from the Fylde side of campus, but perhaps we’re all missing some secretly devious affairs. A college where a rare breed of an alien species is created and nurtured into a surprising full-scale army of spike-backed, claw-bearing animals could (only) be Fylde.

Pendle – Beetlejuice

It’s easy to assume nothing is ever happening on the insignificant corner of campus inhabited by Pendle students until a major incident occurs. Though you may not see the party coming, it’s hard to miss it once it’s there. And of course, if ever there was to be a narcissistic, age-old ghost with a sinister pursuit targeting students to unleash his reign, Pendle would be his first point of call. 

Cartmel – The Shining

Being so far away from Alex Square can’t be fun. The obvious assumption often made is that Cartmel students are entirely disconnected from the rest of campus. Translation: They would be left helpless if their life was put in danger by any of our iconic horror movie villains.

Maybe the rest of us should feel guilty about that, but who can blame us honestly? Let’s not forget the trek to get to it… These similarities to the Overlook Hotel itself make Cartmel students more likely to be subject to the wrath of Jack Torrance.

 Lonsdale – Nightmare on Elm Street

It’s all fun and party games for Lonsdale, which could be putting them in the way of Freddy Kreuger. Everyone’s witnessed a poor unfortunate Lonnie student leg it for the sugar bus, now let’s see them run for their lives because he’s coming!

Though maybe running from a deranged lunatic who can harm you no matter where you are and is hellbent on ensuring a slow and painful death doesn’t compare to running to Sugar to make it in time for early entry.

Furness – Psycho

Underrated but forever iconic may well be the best way to describe Furness. The smallest college on campus can sometimes make it seem unheard of, just like the Bates Motel. It seems equally inviting and warm, and the students of Furness seem just as charming as Norman Bates himself, making it questionably eerie this year.

Bowland – Jeepers Creepers

As a member of Bowland college, you know the campus well, and you’re right in the middle of all the action. Maybe, you think you’re in the best place to make a quick escape? Little do innocent Bowland students know, that’s the best place to be sought out by an ancient, mysterious demon who seeks organs to replace its damaged ones. Also, overlooking Alexandra Square can be pretty sinister when you inevitably see something that wasn’t meant to be seen.

County – IT

Wouldn’t it be the biggest college to be targeted by a shapeshifting killer clown and then subsequently follow it into a deep underground chamber to kill it. The vast number of people in County college can make us believe there is probably enough to create a suburban, 80’s style American town just like Derry.

Walking past County, you might realise that you’ve got to know your way around the college. Otherwise, you’ll quickly become lost – easier said than done – making it the worst place for an unsuspecting student to see an ominous, lone-floating, tell-tale red balloon. 

Graduate – Woman in Black 

Just when you think you’ve gotten past the bulk of your university years and can try and gain some peace, a long-lost soul hellbent on destroying the lives of children is bound to attack.

Just like Arthur Kipps, you may feel as though it’s finally time to put the memories of years one, two and three in a locked box in the back of your mind and try to focus on earning a masters degree, but of course, it’s never really that easy.  A ghost-lady clad in black must at least once attack the town’s children and make it your problem.

Honestly, not many people stand a chance this year, regardless of college or course, but we can try anyway.

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