Things in my Lancs uni house that just make sense

You can hear the TikTok just from reading the title

3 years ago

University accommodation – we’ve all heard the horrors and most of us have lived them. Once you escape halls you think the horrors must be over, no more living with random people, less mess and chaos at every turn, finally a real place to make your home away home. However, moving with student housing companies isn’t always the getaway you think it will be, as houses come with all new types of horrors, some you never even consider while on campus.

Slanted flooring

Want to balance on the spot for no reason? Do you desire to put a cuppa on a table without it spilling everywhere? Do you want to sit down without rocking around? You’ve struck out, unfortunately! The floor here is to be slanted only and never balanced. You might not think this is too much of a problem, but it is the first thing everyone notices coming into the house and it’s the last thing I remember when tripping and falling over moving to the kitchen for another snack break. All these problems and I haven’t even mentioned the fact we can’t host ‘who’s the tallest’ in our house, sad times for everyone.

Styrofoam head

One day there was a knock at the door and a postman did a mad dash, now we have a styrofoam head. The head lives in the kitchen, judging all who walk by and watch me sneak downstairs for a piece of toast at three am. No one truly understands why we have this in the house, and no one really wishes to understand. This is the existence we have and we have no choice but to accept it. The bonus is that we can dress the head up for different holidays, so I guess not all is bad. It is what it is.

Window blocked stairs

We all adore natural lighting, it brightens up the room and gives a good bit of oomph to the day. Except natural lighting does become difficult to achieve when the window is abnormally large and blocked by the staircase upstairs. You read that right, a window that is blocked out by stairs. So the effortless cottage core vibe you wanted for an insta of the light coming through a window in your house, throw the whole thing away. Unless you and your house enjoy sitting awkwardly on the stairs to receive some Vitamin D for the day, this window is next to useless, except for writing about in articles just like this.

The woodlice in the bathroom

Have you ever wanted a flat pet but your landlord said no? Here we welcome our woodlice. The bathroom having rotting wood would be a natural negative about a house, but now we have a little pet who comes out when you’re brushing your teeth or going to the toilet. Maybe not the most idealistic pet, but if you can get past the fact they’re a bit weird and a creepy-crawly they begin to appeal more, not to mention that they’re extremely low maintenance. They live in peace and harmony with us and are one of the small things that bring me joy.

Office blinds in the bathroom

What is the bathroom missing? The answer isn’t office blinds, but that is exactly what this house offers. I’m not sure if the designers just got the memo of isolation earlier than the rest of us and decided to make the bathroom appear more professional or if they were just cheaper than an alternative? It’s definitely an odd feeling using a drawstring to get to the window and has a very weird vibe showering next to them. I want to explain the positives they contribute, but I’m really struggling to see the advantages here, maybe a zoom meeting from the bath? Whatever the reasoning, these blinds aren’t justified.

The mailbox that doesn’t work

Do you want your parcel delivered securely and safely? not through this letterbox! None of us has figured out what is actually the problem with the letterbox, in theory, when we test it, it should work. Yet, every day we get to watch the postman attempt to push it through, pull it back out, push through more aggressively, get it stuck halfway, begin to rip open whatever it is they’re delivering- then we can step in to either pull it through or help by pushing it back out. Ultimately, they ring the bell and make some snotty comment about the postbox being hard to use like we installed it ourselves, a point of conflict with us and the local community.