All the annoying Lancs students in an online seminar

If you’re reading this, you’re one of them

So we don’t have any face-to-face teaching anymore, and it doesn’t look like we’re gonna get much of it in the future either. Which means that we’re just going to have to make do with online lectures, seminars and workshops via blurry webcams, and quiet microphones.

But when all’s said and done, even if you wanted to concentrate on your work, there’s always that ONE annoying student on the call who doesn’t realise how irritating they are. Well, fear not, because we’ve compiled a list of all of those annoying folk you’ll probably have come across so far.

The one that never mutes their mic

There’s nothing worse than that crackly microphone feedback when your lecturer doesn’t know how to mute people.

The one that doesn’t lock their door

All hell breaks loose when their mum/dog/screaming sibling comes running in to see what they’re doing.

“No, mum, I’m busy, I don’t want to come and watch Antiques Roadshow… Can you record it?”

The one in the pyjamas

Just like all of us, feeling blessed that we don’t have to brave the buses onto campus. Some of us aren’t brave enough to go to lectures in pyjamas, but we’ve all seen someone rock up to a lecture theatre in a onesie – now, the invitation to do the same is open to all of us. Who’s gonna judge you?

The one that dresses up

Remember that tall guy who walks around in a suit? He’s still doing it at home.

Some of us spend our loans on accommodation that we now can’t live in, and some of us spend our loans on Vivienne Westwood suits. Fair play mate, you rock on.

The one with the cool background

The meme ones are the best. All of the memes.

The one who turns off their video

Who are they? I don’t know and you probably don’t know either. Even the lecturer doesn’t know who they are. What are they doing? Are they eating? Are they watching TikToks? Nobody knows. They’ve been on mute for the last 27 minutes. They’ve probably never been to a seminar and always checked-in from the Spine, so they’re not going to start now.

The one with the bottle of wine

Come on, it’s 10am and you’re drinking rosé? Well, it’s 5pm somewhere, right? She’s got the right idea #goodvibesonly

The one in a different time zone

Remember your mate from America who was here for about a month? Now she has to be up in the early hours of the morning just to attend a one-hour lecture. We’ll be thinking of her when she’s doing exams…

The one who’s always eating

Remember your course mate who always brought snacks into seminars? Well now they’re doing the same thing, except it’s from the comfort of their own bed. Sure, it’s still a bit disrespectful, but at least you can’t hear them munching on their fourth packet of Monster Munch.

The one who’s actually doing work

This is the person who usually raises their hand to answer EVERY SINGLE QUESTION in the seminar. But hey, unlike you, they’re actually putting some effort in.

In these troubling times, let’s spare a thought for our friends, and friends of friends, who are still stuck in limbo, both here in the UK as well as abroad. Although we can’t see each other like we used to, at least we’ll always have Zoom.