All the annoying Lancs students in an online seminar
If you’re reading this, you’re one of them
So we don’t have any face-to-face teaching anymore, and it doesn’t look like we’re gonna get much of it in the future either. Which means that we’re just going to have to make do with online lectures, seminars and workshops via blurry webcams, and quiet microphones.
But when all’s said and done, even if you wanted to concentrate on your work, there’s always that ONE annoying student on the call who doesn’t realise how irritating they are. Well, fear not, because we’ve compiled a list of all of those annoying folk you’ll probably have come across so far.
The one that never mutes their mic
There’s nothing worse than that crackly microphone feedback when your lecturer doesn’t know how to mute people.
The one that doesn’t lock their door
All hell breaks loose when their mum/dog/screaming sibling comes running in to see what they’re doing.
My mom when I lock my door because I’m on a zoom conference with my professor and entire class and she wants to tell me to do the dishes pic.twitter.com/ZptowyVGg2
— Lali🐮 (@goddessuslali) March 17, 2020
“No, mum, I’m busy, I don’t want to come and watch Antiques Roadshow… Can you record it?”
— BBC News (World) (@BBCWorld) March 10, 2017
The one in the pyjamas
my online class starts in 40minutes
is it appropriate to wear pyjamas? can I stay in bed
what are the rules of a zoom class
cannot do this
— julia 🕊 (@juliaxpawlak) March 25, 2020
Just like all of us, feeling blessed that we don’t have to brave the buses onto campus. Some of us aren’t brave enough to go to lectures in pyjamas, but we’ve all seen someone rock up to a lecture theatre in a onesie – now, the invitation to do the same is open to all of us. Who’s gonna judge you?
The one that dresses up
My 7 y.o. put on a suit for his class Zoom this morning. My wife told me I needed to go see it so I popped my head in to grab a pic. He was concerned I was going to interrupt him and flashed me the “I’m on a call hand signal.” It took everything I have not to bust out laughing. pic.twitter.com/lBJgkuyDRh
— Brian Kieffer (@bckieffer) April 24, 2020
Remember that tall guy who walks around in a suit? He’s still doing it at home.
Some of us spend our loans on accommodation that we now can’t live in, and some of us spend our loans on Vivienne Westwood suits. Fair play mate, you rock on.
The one with the cool background
So, I made a custom Zoom background for my next meeting where I bring myself a cup of tea. pic.twitter.com/DJBxrH5Cqv
— Jaws 19 🎬 🎥🎞 🌈 (@Jaws19show) May 7, 2020
The meme ones are the best. All of the memes.
Someone at work Slack shared a background of the "this is fine" meme for Zoom and I think it perfectly makes sense to use it now. pic.twitter.com/K1JDnoNTOp
— Fatih Arslan (@fatih) March 12, 2020
The one who turns off their video
Who are they? I don’t know and you probably don’t know either. Even the lecturer doesn’t know who they are. What are they doing? Are they eating? Are they watching TikToks? Nobody knows. They’ve been on mute for the last 27 minutes. They’ve probably never been to a seminar and always checked-in from the Spine, so they’re not going to start now.
The one with the bottle of wine
Tomorrow imma bust out a fat bottle of wine mid Zoom class. They can't stop me. Zoom U is not a dry campus.
— Nebraska Hernández (@neb_hernandez) March 18, 2020
Come on, it’s 10am and you’re drinking rosé? Well, it’s 5pm somewhere, right? She’s got the right idea #goodvibesonly
The one in a different time zone
Time difference doesn’t allow everyone to be present for online classes. Am I supposed to attend my Zoom class at 3 am in the morning? Universities are trying to do their best but their solutions don’t accommodate their international students especially international seniors https://t.co/0XGsgK7WB5
— Etna (@etnazeneli) March 17, 2020
Remember your mate from America who was here for about a month? Now she has to be up in the early hours of the morning just to attend a one-hour lecture. We’ll be thinking of her when she’s doing exams…
The one who’s always eating
pls dont make me turn on my camera in zoom I'm eating salsa by the spoonful for breakfast in my panda onesie its not something the class needs to see
— 🍄🌱🌈🌼 (@auberryfairy) May 6, 2020
Remember your course mate who always brought snacks into seminars? Well now they’re doing the same thing, except it’s from the comfort of their own bed. Sure, it’s still a bit disrespectful, but at least you can’t hear them munching on their fourth packet of Monster Munch.
The one who’s actually doing work
This is the person who usually raises their hand to answer EVERY SINGLE QUESTION in the seminar. But hey, unlike you, they’re actually putting some effort in.
In these troubling times, let’s spare a thought for our friends, and friends of friends, who are still stuck in limbo, both here in the UK as well as abroad. Although we can’t see each other like we used to, at least we’ll always have Zoom.