Clubbers of the week
Red or white, it’s all wine to me
Tadiwa MahlungeWith the crushing defeat York has suffered in the Roses, on-campus alcoholism has skyrocketed. People are dying of liver damage. Well I say ‘people’, but at 93:153 following Saturday’s sporting events, they are essentially worth three fifths of us. Hustle has become the safest place in Lancaster, just let that sink in.
Suspicious Italian mobster of the week
Your kneecaps aren’t safe for long
Protruding pupils of the week
Someone loosen his tie, the man is dying!
Hipster Jesus of the week
“Vodka shots on me! Don’t tell my dad!”
Freed house-elf of the week
It’s no sock but it’ll do
Wandering limbs of the week
Guess someone told him women like a handyman
Aggressively happy clubber of the week
“WE’RE HAVING FUN, RIGHT GUYS!?!”
I stand corrected…
Cheif Editor at the ‘Business Incisor’
Fabulous fellow of the week
Yaaaaaaassssss!!
Freudian friendship of the week
“Mate, stop. You try this shit every week after your third Corona.”
Satisfying fart of the week
“My bumhole feels like a cloud.”
Pliable plonkers of the week
“Take it all, bitch.”
Photo credit to The Lancaster Photographer.
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