Clubbers of the week

Red or white, it’s all wine to me


With the crushing defeat York has suffered in the Roses, on-campus alcoholism has skyrocketed. People are dying of liver damage. Well I say ‘people’, but at 93:153 following Saturday’s sporting events, they are essentially worth three fifths of us. Hustle has become the safest place in Lancaster, just let that sink in.

Suspicious Italian mobster of the week

Dilly Ding Dilly Dong, your knees aren’t safe for long

Your kneecaps aren’t safe for long

Protruding pupils of the week

Someone loosen his tie, the man is dying!

Someone loosen his tie, the man is dying!

Hipster Jesus of the week

“Vodka shots on me! Don’t tell my dad!”

“Vodka shots on me! Don’t tell my dad!”

Freed house-elf of the week

It's no sock but it'll do

It’s no sock but it’ll do

Wandering limbs of the week

Guess someone told him women like a handyman

Guess someone told him women like a handyman

Aggressively happy clubber of the week

"WE'RE HAVING FUN RIGHT GUYS!!"

“WE’RE HAVING FUN, RIGHT GUYS!?!”

I stand corrected…

His blowjobs must feel like a cheesegrater

Cheif Editor at the ‘Business Incisor’

Fabulous fellow of the week

Yaaaaaaassssss!!

Yaaaaaaassssss!!

Freudian friendship of the week

"C'mon mate, just put it in you r mouth for a second."

“Mate, stop. You try this shit every week after your third Corona.”

Satisfying fart of the week

"My bumhole feels like a cloud."

“My bumhole feels like a cloud.”

Pliable plonkers of the week

m

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n

“Take it all, bitch.”

Photo credit to The Lancaster Photographer.