The worst studying spots on campus

It may seem petty to get annoyed at the location of another person’s study, and it is, but I feel that lines must sometimes be drawn. Not just lines of decency, but ones physically barring people from revising in some of these crazy places. It’s not GCSE where people are impressed that you’re revising, it’s term 3 and you’re literally paying to revise.

Library entrance sofas

Why sit anywhere warm when you can have fun trying keep your loose paper together with the gusts of wind coming through the door?

Chair backs are overrated! After all, osteoporosis worked out so well for Quasimodo.

Alexandra Square

Unforgivable. You are literally sat in-between the two campus study areas.

How do you stay focused when Greggs is staring you in the face? Greggs, and the face of anyone passing through the most densely concentrated point on campus.

Off-campus kitchens

People are trying to eat. These kitchens are always right next to the empty college study rooms so I just don’t understand why? Do you like constantly smelling like a second-years’ leftovers? Don’t be that guy in your seminar that wreaks of microwave chicken tikka.

Furness sofas

As with the library entrance, this is an ideal spot for those that love to be on display. The chairs are also specially designed for those with a half-spine. The table itself is actually lower than the sofa, and so far away that you are forced to slope over it like some kind of ape if you want to write anything.

It’s a great place to brainstorm for Criminology, as the whole group will come away with a hunch.

A campus bar

Good luck sitting on these stools.

College bars are not study areas. Alcohol, loud chatter and revision are not a match made in heaven. Why would you want to study somewhere loud?

College courtyards

Did you know that indoor chairs have cushions? The wooden part is only for support. Chairs are like dresses, without a back, they’re uncomfortable.

At least you’ll be the first to know when it starts to rain.

Any grassy area

Life is not a Uni prospectus. There is no excuse congregating on the grass like cattle, grazing on extortionately and irresponsibly priced ice-cream, in a caricature of a monopolised local market.

I can rationalise reading in the grass but I have seen people using their laptops too. They sit there, draining their batteries, their screen brightness competing with the Sun and bitching about the 1 bar of WiFi they should not be getting from outside. I wouldn’t be surprised if they started looking for power outlets in the soil, like the neanderthals they are.

Costa

This particular type of attention seeker really goes out of their way. Paper will be scattered across any table they can claim, to show that work is being done. They’ll listen to their music at full volume, prematurely deafening themselves, as opposed to studying literally anywhere else.

The Spine

There’s a special place in hell for people who walk, looking at their work, and expect you to move around them.

Do they really think they’re absorbing anything as their booklet franticly jolts about? But then again, anyone who would even consider doing this must be about as absorbent as a wet sponge.