Your long-term relationship is going to fail at uni: Get over it
They’re not worth it
It’s harsh but it’s true, uni is a time to embrace freedom, and like it or not you can’t embrace freedom while held down by your ball and chain.
It’s not going to work. You have different lives now, different friendship groups, and new people to fancy. Open your mind and accept you’re just going to have to let them go.
They’re probably not worth the hassle.
This is the big one.
Unless you’re lucky enough to have your school/college sweetheart attending the same university, you could spent up to £800 a year just travelling the length and breadth of our fine country to see your loved one.
Is it really worth it? That’s £800 of booze, dancing, pizza and possible coitus that you could be having without having to deal with train delays, awful food and constantly dwindling phone battery.
Your £800 could buy you 460 Jagerbombs at Sugarhouse. Sure, people will say they might not keep you warm at night, but you’ll be too smashed to care anyway.
Sure, you could avoid actually physically seeing them. You could rely on Skype and Facetime, but pretty soon even these feel like a chore. You may be saving money, but your social life will still dwindling.
You’ll be around at the weekend, but still completely off the grid and glued to your phone. Nobody likes the person who has to duck out 20 times during pre-drinks just to reassure Bae.
Actual coursework and exams
Yeah, it’s boring, but remember, this is the stuff you pay £9,000 a year to do. They’re going to expect you to dedicate a lot of your time trying to keep in contact with them. Along with you know, maintaining a normal social life, what time does that leave to actually revise or get any work done?
Unless your other half is really understanding, or on the same course as you, there are going to be some issues.
Even if you don’t want them, you have them. It’s bad enough you’ve left home to a new place where you have to do your own laundry, cooking, cleaning and organising. It’s going to take long enough to adjust to looking after yourself – don’t pretend you’re grown up enough to actually try to look after someone else.
Soon, it’s all on top of you. Monthly anniversaries, Valentines day, those nights where they get too drunk and you have to leave early, them not getting on or getting jealous with your new friends, organising your finances to see them every other weekend, organising your time.
You’re with them because you like them, right? Because it’s fun? But soon, it’s just going to be extra stress and you’ll resent each other. Why bother?
The break up
It’s a prevention rather than cure situation here. If you’ve dragged the relationship on and now you want to end it, things are only going to get worse.
It can get seriously awkward too. If you’re at the same university and you break up, you have to live with seeing and being around this person for pretty much three years. That can be difficult when you’re trying to move on from the “best years of your life”.
If not, you’re going to have to deal with seeing them every time. They’ll always be sulky and tearful, and hating you. Save yourself, and them, the pain and just end it quickly before uni starts – like ripping off a plaster.
Breaking up while already deep into uni life means you run the risk of having the same friends, and you’ll be heartbroken when you see them with someone else.
If anything, being single keeps you safe from heartbreak. Hell, be single at uni and you’ll be happy – these PDAs may make you feel a little blue but then again, jokes on them, while they PDA, you get a degree.