We might be far out but Cartmel is still the bomb

It may as well be Mordor


People like to say a lot of things about Cartmel – out of all the colleges we seem to get the most stick.

But how much do people actually know about that far off land? Simply mentioning that you live in Cartmel seems to make people tired – and that’s without them even having to actually commit to the inevitable trek to County for that 9am seminar.

In a land far, far away…

Yes, I’ll be the first one to admit it. We are “out there” – but who ever said this was a bad thing? After all this only means that we get more daily exercise, and therefore can justify the monster Domino’s you have at least two times a week.

That’s not forgetting because we live so far away from the main hubbub, that everything is gorgeous? I mean seriously – I can’t remember signing up to be Snow White, but I still get to say hi to a troop of bunnies, flock of birds or even a cheeky squirrel nearly every day just outside the blocks… Living in Cartmel means we get picturesque views, and get to feel at one with our surroundings. It’s turned us all into Earth mothers (and fathers) – who else can say the same?

The hills are alivveee...

The hills are alivveee…

Living here feels like visiting the idyllic little town you visit when you need a holiday – except better.

We may be green, but we still have a Starbucks and our own pub (The Winning Post, you know the one). We can get our fill or caffeine and alcohol and then relax in the sun with our mates. With so many benefits, it’s easy to feel sorry for all those poor inner-city folk in the centre of campus who only have concrete and construction work to deal with. Even when the true Lancaster weather rears its ugly head, its easy to get poetic about it all…

Revision break treats

Revision break treats

If we’re considering convenience (yes, the word still exists out here) we actually aren’t bad at all. All food deliveries can be directed to the Graduate Barrier, which you could roll to if you really were that lazy. Our launderette is the biggest on campus with loads of machines so you don’t have to enter the Hunger Games to grab one. And Central, at most, is around five minutes away and comes without spine-like traffic.

Plus, the greatest part of all. We get our own ensuites too.

Game Of Thrones? I'll have my own, thanks

Game Of Thrones? I’ll have my own, thanks

Cartmel are easily the most fashionable bunch on campus – in terms of emblems we are obviously superior. Half lion, half eagle, we’re basically a less shit Lonsdale. And we can safely say that walking around in one of the burgundy Cartmel hoodies is much less conspicuous – and a hell of a lot more comfy – then the garish greens, blues and oranges of other colleges. Vogue would be proud.

Someone call Tyra

Someone call Tyra

And finally there’s the freshers events. Cartmel dominates, there’s no other way of saying it. No one can deny our silent disco in fancy dress was totally brilliant, and that we proudly held our own on the Sugar bus and on the dance floor. After all, we have got the people with the best dance moves.

The rhythm is in us...

The rhythm is in us…