A list of people you meet in the library

Are you The Megaphone, The Fresher or The All-Nighter? Here’s the definitive list of people you meet in the library

Kingston students Kingston uni students library

The All-Nighter

Surrounded by empty red bull cans and coffee cups with a murderous look in their eyes. There’s only one explanation: this person has not slept. It’s almost certain that they’re a third year student, and it’s more than probable that they haven’t showered in a few days. Delicious! Approach with caution.

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The Fresher

We’ve all been there; the dreaded firsty with “so much work to do, seriously” has come to sit next to you. I once had to sit next to a girl with a crop top and disco pants on, who’d bought a pre-prepared salad and homemade smoothie with her. Give me a break! I left shortly after her and her friend started talking about how much they were dreading the workload of second year.

The Megaphone

So you’re sitting in the quiet section minding your own business, when suddenly you hear a screech from behind you followed by a chorus of giggling. These girls will then continue to talk at a volume which definitely does not comply with the rules of the ‘quiet’ zone. You can’t tell them to be quiet, because you don’t want to make a scene. All you can do is share an eye roll with the person opposite you and seethe.

The Serial Texter

Seriously, are these people glued to their phone?! Did they not come here to do work?! It seems like they spend 99.9% of their time looking at their phone screen. You’re wasting a computer, go away!

The Slob

This person has seriously stopped caring. Trackies? Yes. Unwashed hair? Check. Stained t-shirt? Of course. This is almost definitely a third year whose dissertation deadline is looming.

The Keeno

This person arrived at 9am on the first day of Fresher’s week and hasn’t missed a day since. They always think they’re really far behind, when really they’ve been working on their essays for so long that they were done weeks before the deadline. An alternative name would be the most annoying person on the planet.

The Picnicker

They’re work is punctured by regular visits to the café for a top up on their coffee, and they always have a selection of chocolate bars, crisps and assorted loose sweets in their bag. Will they share? You’ll only find out if you ask them. But probably not, no.

The Procrastinator

Their computer screen is either on Facebook, Twitter or the DailyMail sidebar of shame. They really will do anything to avoid writing their essay. If you’re lucky, like me, you’ll have seen someone Facebook stalking you across the room. Can I get a restraining order for that? I don’t even know you!

She's so busy

She’s so busy

The Socialite

These people congregate on the ‘group study’ floor, but it seems like they think it’s the ‘group mothers meeting floor’. They have literally come to the library to socialise. I don’t know if they are aware what a library is for, but if they do then they are doing a good job of pretending they don’t. You’ll just want to scream at them to go away, but they won’t be able to hear you over the sound of their mass conversation.

The Space Invader

You’ve bought your laptop to the library; do you use the space provided or do you squash yourself in between two computers so you can sit with your mates? The answer is obvious – you annoy everyone around you by taking up all their personal space. Who said manners were dead?!

Idiot

Idiot

The Snapchatter

Are they taking a genuine selfie? Or a Snapchat? It’s hard to tell, but whichever it is it’s embarrassing. If you’re reading this thinking; ‘this is so me!’then stop. Please stop. You are embarrassing yourself. Everyone knows what you’re doing, regardless of how many times you look over your shoulder to check.