Meet the Mighty KCL Women’s Rugby Team

Varsity is back and the KCL Rugby Women are not messing around. Despite their loss last year, the team is ready to claim back their winning title and destroy UCL once and for all.

Watch the girls play on Thursday the 12th March at Richmond Rugby. You can get tickets here.

Ladies and gents, I present to you KCL’s Women’s Rugby Team.

Welcome to The King’s Tab’s coverage of London Varsity 2020, bringing you the wildest stories from the games, rundowns of the squads, and the latest score updates. Anything mad happens at a game? Message us on Instagram or Facebook.

Angharad Jones – President

Course: Intercalated anatomy 

Year: Fourth Year

Position: Hooker

Bio:  She is Wales.

Sport Night Factor: 1/10, 1 point for welcome drinks

Commitment: Can’t walk, playing varsity. Does medicine, didn’t join GKT.

Readiness for Varsity: has practised throwing that lineout ball more times than the number of days you’ve been alive #hookergoals. 

Watch out whocl, and watch out ref??

Lottie Kissick-Jones – (el Capitan)

Course: English

Year: Third Year

Position: Inside Centre

Instagram: @lottie_kj

Bio:  Commitment: 10000/10 Captain. Duh, despite the broken fingers and missing contacts

Sports Night factor: When working – free vault drinks for all 

Will also get you into the vault even if you’re 2h late

Hype song: Disturbia – Rihanna

Lost water bottles this season: 8

Will:

• keep running while 6 people hang on her

Readiness for varsity: Her handoffs will put you in a coma, if she has her corn snack.

 

Lucia Blackmore – Welfare Sec

Course: History

Year: Third year (second time 🙁 )

Position: Hooker

Pronounced: lu-si-ah or Sha-lis-sa

Bio:  Can’t pronounce the words hoisin or clitoris.

Bad w directions.

Years played: All of time? At least 8 #paz2.0

Banter: 10/10 Meme Queen, has mugs of the whole team (especially of her secret (not-so-secret) team girlfriend 😉

Commitment: 1000/10 – No evidence that she doesn’t live at the gym, “I’m just gonna run 12 miles to training instead of taking the train”, does 100 push ups for every mistake any team member makes at any point

Readiness for varsity: Have you seen those guns? 😉

 

Emma Hollar 

Course: Public Health

Year: Masters

Position: Hooker

Insta: @pippinhollar

Bio: Nicknames: egg (and also the only thing she eats)

Flirt factor: 0/10 – will fight you. (if you’re on the men’s rugby team)

Hype song: Fast Car

“The Plug” 😉 who did this what does it mean

American: “It’s the water” “Where’s the salt?”

Readiness for varsity: “We are playing the men right?”

 

Rosie Allen

Course: Philosophy, Politics and Law

Year: Third year

Position: Prop

Bio: Headstands: 10/10

Sport Night Factor: 8/10, will stay as long as Abbie can force her

On pitch support given: 10/10 “you got this” 

Readiness for varsity : She protec, but she also attac. “BIG SCRUM KINGS”, Loudest voice on the pitch 

Coach Catlin: “I just wanted her to sub off so I can have little miss sunshine next to me”

“Sunshine incarnate”

 

Sonya Panchenko

Course: Biomedicine

Year: Third Year

Position: Prop

Bio: Amazing hairstyles this season: 6

Amazing tattoos this season: 3? Bitch cant stop

Sports night factor: runs 30min to go get curry from her pub and runs back to keep partying

Flirt Factor: 10/10. Your hinge/tinder guru

Readiness for varsity: Too cool to be

 

Eva Radukic

Course: International relations

Year: First year

Position: Prop

Instagram: @evaradukic

Bio: Flirt factor: 9/10 in regular forbidden romances #mysterious

Banter: 10/10, totally underrated 

Sports Night factor: Inspired by her mumma (Abbie), pitchers of cocktail all night long bby, find her dancing with sofia #fwends, 

Readiness for varsity: As long as she has all her toes, she’s ready.

 

Abbie McGregor

Course: Law

Year: Third Year

Position: Second Row

Instagram: @abbie.mcgregor

Bio: Sports Night Factor: 1000/10 – Did not miss a single social in 2k19, Will hold your hair while you TC, Will make you dance in the circle, Will know all the words to the songs everyone hates.

Flirt Factor: With dance moves + dat ass 10/10, everything else 0/10 (#longtermboyf #RelationshipGoals) 

Hype ability : 10/10 – “(insert compliment about a team mate here)”

Readiness for varsity: Dark horse, keeps breaking opponents bones 

 

Caitlin O’Regan

Course: English Law and French Law 

Year: First year

Position: Second Row

Instagram: @caitlin0regan

Bio:  Commitment : The only time she has actually been “on time” to PT training is when she thought it started an hour earlier and still turned up 30 mins late 🙁

Banter: 6/10 – actual jokes never land but mess-ups never fail to make the team laugh 

Sports night rating: -5/10 – turned up at the wrong sponsor pub but bonus point for getting really blue on smurf night 

Flirt factor: -500/10 – but speaks French 

 

Xiaoyu Wen

Course: Physics

Year: Third Year

Position: Second Row

Instagram: @aaaxw1

Bio: Banter: 8.8/10 Sarcastic and weird sense of humor – ”laughed”

Flirt factor: 117/10 – Your average goddess.‘‘It’s a Rugby bruise, not a hickey!!!”, have a look at her sexy ig. 

Photography skills: 100/10, made everyone look fire with her talent. Will hire for sexy wedding night pics.

Sport Night Factor: Best dressed award #no.1

Rugby Family rating: 12/10- the K-J family reigns

 

Belle Afzal-Woodward

Course: Medicine

Year: Masters

Position: Second row/ flanker

Bio: Sports night factor: 100% as long as she has somewhere to rest her weary head

Commitment: 10/10 – lives on another continent (we believe) but will still show up to PT at 8am

Readiness for Varsity : Has the name of a princess, but will tackle you like a beast.

“Guys, I lost my flask again”

 

Nour Gado

Course: Politics

Year: First Year

Position: Flanker

Instagram: @gobythenamenour

Bio: Fights had : 0 

Fights wanted : 245

Sports night factor: 1/10 never there due to other commitments – cheerleading, muay thai, active social life #allrounder 

Monsters drank this season : 200 (minimum 2 per match)

Amount of bubblegum bubbles blown during training: 23

Music taste: 1000/10

 

Atinuke Akindiya

Course: Political Economy of Emerging Markets

Year: MSC

Position: Flanker

Instagram: @missatss

Bio: 

Nickname: “Ats” “Attyy”

Sports night factor: 3/10 – turns up for a big one, gets too drunk, has to leave

Will:

• sing during a scrum, midway through the match 
• Not join another church choir 

Flirt factor: 10/10 Serving looks day and night, Her lipgloss always be poppin’. Manages to make the red scrum cap look good. How????

Readiness for varsity: Minimum of 5 of the opposition needed to tackle this queen

 

Sonia Ubong

Course: Medicine

Year: Third year

Position: No. 8

Bio: “Ubonggggg”

Stamina: will still go library post-match #MedStudent

Sports night factor: -3/10 will say she’s coming but never shows up; gets super excited for the single GB social → doesn’t come.

Commitment: Does medicine didn’t join GKT. 10/10

Readiness for varsity: “Tonga” move queen

 

Coleen Ramos – COLEEN THE MACHINE

Course: English

Year: Third Year

Position: Scrum-Half

Instagram: @Kollrs

Bio: Hair : 20000/10 #goals

#reflectivesilkytexture

Modelling contracts: 10 (including PLT, Gymshark and Glossier)

Brows for dayz

Commitment: The whole team – ‘Please go on Love Island so you can get us sponsors’. Still hasn’t applied. Chilled with Finley Tapp in the summer – didn’t realise until last week. 1/10. 

Fun fact: about to start her own youtube channel – 20,000 subscribers and counting (1st vid request: what’s in my closet?)

Readiness for varsity: With her hair in plaits, no one can stop her.

 

Susanna Hyvonen- Social Sec

Course: International Relations

Year: Second Year

Position: Fly Half

Instagram: @sushyvonen

Bio: Flirt factor: -8/10 – she is already dating Chris Hemsworth look alike

Skin: 10/10 – as smooth as a baby’s bottom #10stepskincareroutinebish. Puts Korean skincare to shame.

Readiness for varsity: Can throw the length of the pitch, watch out whocl, 89,93% kicking accuracy

Katarina Martinovic – PT cap

Course: Physics

Year: Phd Second Year

Position: Centre

Bio: Team Grandma. 

She’s so faaaanny 🙂

Flirt factor: 6 months away from having her first child with grammy and academy award winner Sam Smith #pleasemakeithappen #wewantarugbybaby

Team’s sex expert: ask for her to lend you the amazing book More Orgasms Please, great read. Can make physics sound sexy. Professional boudoir model. Kinkiest of the team

Readiness for varsity: Only has 6 knuckles in total but BIG tackles (see video of destroyed Holloway player)

Sarah Tsoi

Course: Law

Year:  Second year

Position: wing/centre

Bio: Sports night factor: 0/10 – lame excuses like ‘furthering my career’ or ‘becoming a mooting champion’ and ‘doing a law degree’

Commitment: 4/10 – there’s always some law event that takes precedence

Singing: 10/10. Rugby player by day, opera singer by night.

Hairstyles: -10000/10 tough love bitch, chopping that bun off after varsity

Flirt factor: 6/10, had a crush on all coaches simultaneously oops

Season Highlight: INTERCEPT + goose/geese? steps

Lizzie Musa

Course: French with Management

Year: BA, First Year

Position: Winger Centre

Instagram: @lizziemusa

Bio: Sports Night Factor: Omg does she have the moves!

Special talent: looking glamorous while running, always with the best smile, (Little miss sunshine #2!)

Commitment: 200/10 got initiated in crutches 

Readiness for varsity: Glides like a gazelle and handoffs you to your death

Louise Martin – Trea(u)surer

Course: International Relations

Year: Third year

Position: Chicken.Wing

Instagram: @louisemartiin

Bio: Sports Night Factor: Omg does she have the moves!

Special talent: looking glamorous while running, always with the best smile, (Little miss sunshine #2!)

Commitment: 200/10 got initiated in crutches 

Readiness for varsity: Glides like a gazelle and handoffs you to your death

Ariane Cornall – Social Sec

Course: Geography

Year: Second Year

Position: Wing

Bio: Will be found at Tortilla after varsity, Will make you walk across London to get bubble tea

Will do anything for: chocolate covered brazil nuts. 

Flirt factor: 4/10 Makes love to her sheep, Has hickeys that are actual hickeys.

Readiness for varsity: Her dip-dye makes her faster.

Ronnie Ng – Media Queen 

Course: Biomedical Engineering

Year: Second Year

Position: Wing

Instagram: @ronnieng_

Bio: Commitment: kclwrfc ig has never been this beautiful, held up a photography light for 6 hours

#gainsforgram

Sports night factor: 2/10 either asleep or on her phone #mediasec, 

Orders a pizza at every social and shares it with the whole team (where does it all go? Probably has huge shits) No Ronnie = no Papa Johns

Will do anything for: hotpot and bubble tea

Readiness for varsity: watch out for her sneaky slicing tackles, Literal embodiment of EVERYONE CAN KILL IT AT RUGBY

Andrea Handal – O2 touch ambassador

Course: Nursing

Year: Third year

Position: Fullback

Bio: Dummy passes this season: 410

Flirt factor: very very close to alumni

Will: 

• twerk for tequila, 
• Be performing for Porn Idol after varsity
• sing even when you don’t want her to (great pre/post game performances with Coleen the machine)

Sports night factor: 5/10 – Can down a pint in less than 30s but will be DRUNK for the next 3h

Readiness for varsity: 10/10 – practically a one person team

Ariane Cornall – Social Sec:

Course: Geography

Position: Wing

Bio: 

Found at Tortilla after varsity, makes you walk across London to get bubble tea, can never survive a night out

Will do anything for: chocolate-covered brazil nuts.

Flirt factor: 4/10 Makes love to her sheep, Has hickeys that are actual hickeys.

Readiness for varsity: Her dip-dye makes her faster. #giselle

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