Meet the KCL Women’s Varsity Hockey squad ready to make UCL cry like little babies
We’re ready to take that Varsity title back
It’s been 1 year since KCL kindly donated the Varsity title, and now we’d like it back.
After firing 9 members of the team, KCLWHC 1s started a long, gruelling recruitment process in September 2019. Applicants from all over the world attended our interview days but few were offered the job.
“Who?”, you might ask. Are you sitting comfortably? Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the 2020 KCL Women’s Varsity squad:
Course: Physics and Philosophy, 3rd Year
Oh Charlotte. Dearest Charlotte. Did you know she’s not in committee? Or that’s she has never ACTUALLY played for England. Charlotte is a valuable darling at the core of KCLHC, her wonderful presence will be sorely missed. Don’t worry Charlotte, even when you’re gone, you’ll still get DOD.
Course: Biochemical Engineering, 3rd Year
With a Putin-like style of conveying messages, Daria provides the stone-cold attitude towards hockey we all crave. Pull back the iron curtain to reveal her experience in the game. Then watch her get injured and collapse on the pitch like the Soviet Union in 1991.
Course: Medicine, 2nd Year
A saviour to society and a saviour on the pitch. Addie, our very own medic saves goals like she saves lives. No one can slap a line ball quicker than Addie and no one can stop them either. She’s simply too good for us.
Course: Nutrition and Dietetics, 2nd Year
The most intelligent, skillful, committed, fittest and modest member of the team. Lilly is a natural born leader and is adored by her fans all over the office. A legend in the captaincy world.
Course: Economics and Management, 2nd Year
Baylie has grown from strength to strength throughout her time at KCLHC. Her elegance and cool in the midfield are rewarded 3x a week by trips to Michelin starred restaurants with boujee senior (Addie). I wish my bank account could treat me like that.
Course: English Literature, 3rd Year
Not long ago, Candice was new to hockey. She is an intelligent forward (hard to come by) with killer tackles. Having recently received her promotion to 1s, Candice has given the team a lift. Literally. We all have wings now.
Course: Dietetics (Masters), 2nd Year
Despite being at KCL for the past two years, Blaise finally got accepted into the KCLHC academy. Her contract was postponed until after Christmas due to nom nom munch munch. She has been a valuable asset to the team since.
Course: Epidemiological Criminology (PhD), 1st Year
Ba, MSc, PhD, MVP. Sam, ageless and eternal, is the MOMMY of the team (inside joke) and has spent more time in education than most of us have been alive. A 5-year PhD sounds like a prison sentence to most, but to Sam, it screams excellent career opportunities. Oh, and this hockey-playing at university is going to look great on your CV, Sam. Everyone loves an overachiever.
Course: Physiotherapy (Masters), 1st Year
“Back yourself!”, is a phrase Sophy doesn’t need to hear. Words of encouragement should be avoided; I repeat do not feed the Sophy compliments. Sophy is currently the top goal scorer for the team, need I say more? No? Good, moving swiftly on…
Course: Physiotherapy (Masters), 1st Year
Tc, who’s real name shall not be spoken, is actually called Alice. Tc does not have any connection with ‘tacky chun’ and the real story of how she got her nickname is actually quite sweet and therefore boring. Tc is the most positive person the entire team has ever come across; fact. She also introduced hockey’s answer to the Hakka to the team warm up. It’s cringey and embarrassing but we accept it because Tc is pure.
Course: Human and Applied Physiology (Masters), 1st Year
Is it a ghost? No, that’s just Freyja. She’s back and ghostly as ever. Freyja doesn’t often talk in the group chat, but when she does it’s in the form of silence. I don’t know if Freyja has a favourite type of plant, but I think it’s tumbleweed.
Course: Biomedical Science, 1st Year
Goal keepers like Hani are a rare breed of hockey player, with strange habits. Did you know they wear shin pads to lectures? Maybe it’s a sign of patriotism for the sport. But is it a flex that she plays hockey? Definitely. Unlike Charlotte, Hani has great chat. At least on the pitch.
Course: Neuroscience, 1st Year
Having a Dutch player on your team was sooo last year. But we recycle trends. Felice emits the same positivity that Tc does but quietly, in a fresher-like manner. Felice uses our non-seasonal Christmas puns to fuel her internal hate fire that’s raring to come out. Perhaps it will birth on the 6th of March. Stay tuned.
Course: Theoretical Physics, 1st Year
Unfairly nicknamed ‘boring Sara’ by the rest of the club, Sara has been a credit to the 1s both on the pitch and off the pitch. In true athlete style, Sara is yet to fail to make it out on a Wednesday and is yet to make it home with all her teeth still intact. I heard she had a fight with the tube escalator. Sara is as rogue on the pitch as she is with her curry choices, what’s a dansak? And Sara, why is half of it dribbled down your fleece? This season, Sara learned how to pass. Baby steps.
Course: Public Health, 1st Year
Pitbull, meet Mrs Worldwide. Indy has a list of ex-universities longer than Taylor Swift’s list of ex-lovers and hopefully Indy will see this relationship through. Indy by name, indie by nature. Slam poetry and peace signs only. Also please let it be known that Public Health is a BSc, NOT a Ba. A BSc! It’s a flex.
There you have it, the team ready to win back the crown. Join us on the 6th March at the Olympic Park and #bleedred. Tickets available here.
Sincerely, your Captain.
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