Meet the KCL Varsity Football squad ready to blast UCL to another dimension
Bend it like Bentham, amirite?
London Varsity is just around the corner and what better way to get yourself in the mood for shit-talking UCL, getting more patriotic about King's than you will ever be again, and getting on The Beers, than by having a gander at our football team?
They're playing on Monday the 12th of March, buy your tickets here. While you wait, feast your eyes on their chat and, more importantly, their instas.
Captain: Cameron Zegeling, third year Maths
Position: Centre Midfield
"Having a steamy love affair with Conor Bassett."
"Would pay for an Uber to Mars for a shag."
Perys Pullen, third year Geography
"Top bloke – loves a bit of yoga."
"Gives defenders more nightmares than The Shining."
Edoardo Latini, second year Business Management
"Catch him on the podium at PI, unless he's at another meal with Little Italy."
"Half a pint and he's wasted."
Alberto Tenconi-Gradillas, second year Business Magagement
"The Italian Stallion."
"Poshest Guy I've ever met."
"Butler washes his kit for him after the game."
Paul Sweeney, MA Physiotherapy
"Guiness is water to Sweendog."
"Pension dropping soon."
Nunzio Amitrano, second year French and Management
"Has sex at least three times every hour."
"If only he scored as many times on this pitch as he does off it."
"Left his hairline in Russia."
Cameron May, first year Geography
"His favourite song is 'Message to my Ex' by Dave."
"Yo, babes, you got Snapchat?"
"Catch him outside PI arguing with bouncers about his ban."
"Rumour has it that he came out of the womb asking for the nurse's Snapchat."
"Loves to get the triceps out on insta."
Serag Elmeleigy, first year International Development
"Has a head like a block of cement."
"And a left foot like a magic wand."
Cameron Logie, second year Psychology
"Lives for lacing up the cleats."
"Keeps on running after the game ends. Has a ford engine, this man."
Gabriel Larraz, third year Buisness Management
"Spends more than £300 on a hair cut – well groomed man."
Conor "Seabass" Bassett, first year History
'More hair on his arse than on his head."
"Webbed fingers and toes."
Charlie Lund, third year Business Management
"Worst influence on the planet."
"Never go for one beer with Lund."
"Gucci flip flops."
"Hasn't washed his kit since September."
Owen Evans, second year Maths
"Missus sets his curfew."
"Penalty shoot-out hero."
Joe Gaiger, second year Geography
Position: Treatment Room
"Hips of an 80 year-old man."
"Set up a gofundme page to buy some conditioner for his dry barnet."
"Been growing a beard for a year."
Philippe Paoli, first year Business Management
"Eats hat-tricks for breakfast."
"Made his own Wikipedia page."
"Running for Lebanese Presidency in 2020."
David Adesida, first year European Politics
"Loves to move to a girl clearly standing with her boyfriend."
"Always on time."