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What happened when I tried to find love on KCL’s Take Me Out

A lil love never hurt nobody

As a single student, I have never been particularly pressed to find the love of my life. But when ACS announced they were hosting a 'KCL Take Me Out', I decided that, ya girl would participate – because, who doesn’t want to judge boys by their looks and pop balloons for three hours?

Here’s what went down:

The show itself started an hour after it was officially supposed to because… well, obviously, everyone was late. The microphones didn’t even work, but then again that really didn’t stop anyone.

Most important rule that was established: pop your balloon if you don’t like who you see. And try not to be too rude about it.

Once the crowd filled the lecture hall and I felt like I didn’t want to do this anymore, the show started.

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You can see the fear in my eyes

In the first four rounds, the male participants judged the ladies walking down and "presenting" themselves. Kudos to them, because the sound of multiple balloons popping in rejection is enough to make anyone want to shrivel up and die, and I didn’t sign up to have my ego crushed that day. Thanks, but no thanks.

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The crowd proved to be as much of a contestant in the show as we were, laughing, booing and shouting at whose balloon should be popped. Some girls came out with interesting talents and hobbies – one of them included pole dancing (with video proof), which got everyone very excited.

One girl was doing well until it came out she liked children and the guys got real scared.

Another lady was deemed too "high-maintenance" by one of the guys, who in turn was deemed "broke" by the audience.

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Look at that walk

Finally, it was the girls’ turn to judge, the already-formed couples looking down at us singles from the back of the room.

Just like the whole show had been up until then, this portion was absolutely hilarious, with the guys walking down trying to impress the girls and whatnot.

I will forever remember the disturbing details revealed about one guy who proudly ate spaghetti with, get ready for this, actual milk. Another one had walked down with his hood completely covering his face, looking absolutely dazed, only to dramatically take his coat off and, honestly, I don’t know what he was going for.

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Now, even though it was all fun and games, it was also a bit sad to see the palpable rejection in the guys’ faces, or to have to explain to a guy that you popped your balloon because he looks too old for you (I’m sorry).

In the end, some wrong choices were made, egos were destroyed, and a crowd member became a panellist, all in the good name of KCL Take Me Out.

I’m still single, though. Maybe better luck next time.