All the things you can learn at a Canadian MUN
You can moderate my caucus anytime you like
The KCL UNA (aka the Delegation of the great “People’s Republic of China” #TheSouthChinaSeaBelongsToChina) packed their bags for another exciting trip to Harvard World Model United Nations Conference’s new exciting location: Montreal, Canada!
Upon arrival, the weather was excruciatingly cold, but on the bright side, the strongest snowstorm in 23 years struck the team on their second day of the conference… aside from that, this week’s events were very eye-opening, and here is your step-by-step guide to everything you will learn at a Canadian WorldMUN conference.
Montreal-eans are Bilingual… and proud
They have this incomprehensible ability to combine both their native languages at the same time in a matter of seconds. You’ll see it at the opening and closing ceremonies, and you’ll also see it at every coffee/muffin/donut break at Tim Horton’s in between the unmoderated caucuses, where the employees will greet you with their confusing “Bonjour/Hi”. Like what do I say? What do you want from me?!??
#KCLSE and #CrossStrandRelations is a thing
KCL might have a chant hating on LSE, but when it comes to MUN, they are the only delegation who will definitely not: snake, screw you over, merge with the dumbest delegation ever, steal your clauses, steal your USB stick, steal your laptop, steal your life. They’re your friends, and they’re a great bunch of humans to hang with for pre-drinks before you hit the hardcore WorldMUN socials with the fire early noughties playlists!
You’ll make so many MUN-related puns that you’ll stop and wonder if you’re doing “life” correctly
“Can you moderate my caucus” will be the pick-up line of the century, and you will keep asking that your team “maintains decorum” at the dinner table when it gets too loud. Basically, you get to confuse the heck out of all the Canadians, who have finally found people who are more “polite” than them.
Every delegate wants the diplomacy award… even if it means taking undiplomatic measures
They will steal your shit, metaphorically threaten you, blackmail you in front of your signatories… but still pull a smile in front of the chairs as well as an adorably fake murder laugh.
The unmoderated caucuses are worse than The Hunger Games
Everyone wants to be the one with the most power aka the Alpha male of the pack. It is the most patronising and hostile environment you will ever see. My advice: get your bitch face on and “don’t mess with me” double delegate to go out there and tear some shit up while you sit inside and formally diss on people’s illogical ideas.
Be the chair’s best friend… even if they really don’t want to be yours
Watch how many times other delegates will approach your chair… Watch it… if they could sell their body to the chair for the diplomacy award… the would. The saddest part is you would too, because the diplomacy award defines you and your purpose in this conference.
However there’s a 50/50 chance you will want to stab your chair… in the spleen… with a shiv you made from all the notes you send them and they keep ignoring… and then shoving their gavel down their throat.
Yea… I’m saying 50/50 to be optimistic… you will actually want to murder them… it’s a guarantee… Also, they’re all Harvard students, and will remind you of that at least 1000 times during committee sessions.
Poutine is over-rated, and no matter how many times your double delegate wants to make a Vladimir Poutine joke in your committee… just say no
But try and soften the blow okay?
But at the end of the day, you come out of a Canadian MUN Conference with tons of interesting and jaw-dropping stories to share (like that one time you caught India going at it with Cambodia outside the bathrooms and didn’t really know what to do or say…yeaaaaaaa let’s all forget that happened…)