King’s will always be a better uni than UCL

Read it and weep

KCL kings kings college ldn London lse rivalry ucl uk uni

In case you missed it, last week UCL had the audacity to claim they were the only London uni worth going to.

UCL, you’ve chatted shit, and you’re about to get banged. Here’s why London’s second-best uni couldn’t be more wrong.

Our campuses are better

UCL, you should’ve gone to Specsavers – our campuses are the most spectacular in the whole of London. They’re in some pretty wicked places – the Strand, Waterloo and London Bridge, meaning that the best bits of London are right on our doorstep.

Yes, Denmark Hill isn’t the nicest place on earth – but then neither are the slums UCL call “halls” up in Camden. Did they get rid of the roaches yet?

kclsu

‘Ugly’

Where else can you finish a lecture, go for a pint and see the London skyline in all its majesty? Yes, some might argue that the campuses being spread out is a bit of a pain – but variety is the spice of life.

Oliver, an English fresher, summed it up nicely. He told The Tab: “We overlook the Thames, we’re next door to the The Shard, and have the iconic Somerset House at our disposal – as opposed to being wedged in the gray yuppie ravine Between Euston and King’s Cross, where the mood would make even a senior actuarial scientist for a big four accountancy firm bored out of their mind.”

Our alumnus are cooler

Okay, you have Gandhi and Ricky Gervais. But we have Desmond Tutu, John Keats, Florence Nightingale and Virginia Woolf to name but a few of our extensive list of famous alumnus. We even have Kele Okereke, the lead vocalist from Bloc Party, and one of our undergrads is literally in Bombay Bicycle Club.

postgrad

Most importantly, JB from JLS did a stint at King’s before becoming one of the sickest boyband legends of 2009. So Coldplay? I think it’s safe to say you can keep them.

We’re down to earth

This has actually been confirmed by official figures – 28.7 per cent of King’s student population went to private school, compared to UCL’s 34.7.

But regardless of the numbers, it’s pretty obvious anyway. A Wednesday at Walkabout is the best night out in London, frequented by our UCL-slaying men’s rugby team. We’ve also got a DJ society, a rap society, and a sick internationally acclaimed men’s a capella group. So really, there’s something for everyone to have fun with at King’s.

Just a down-to-earth normal bloke

Just a down-to-earth normal bloke

Caitlin, a War Studies second year, added: “We have a sense of humour. Our law school is called the Dickson Poon School of Law.”

That’s the kind of humour only a UCL student wouldn’t appreciate.

We’re more employable

When it all comes down to it, we’re all at uni for a reason – employment. And King’s is definitely winning in that department: 94 per cent of King’s students are in full-time employment or pursuing further study six months after graduation. UCL, although not far behind, have a rate of 90.6 per cent.

employable

So employable x

Impressive, but not quite good enough. So soz guys, you lose again.

Your mascot is a joke 

We’re still not sure what that Phineas thing is, and we don’t think you actually know either. Meanwhile, anyone who argues that having a dead philosopher hanging out on campus is better than a lion is kidding themselves.

lion

I think it’s certainly safe to say that Reggie represents the KCL student body to a tee – we’re strong, proud and damn good to look at. So what does having Jeremy Bentham on display say about UCL?