How to be the Kim Kardashian of King’s Kollege
There’s more to it than wearing big shades
Sadly, there’s no BA in becoming a socialite at King’s – and our petition for one hasn’t been answered yet.
However, you can become a master of being fabulous like Kimmy K with just a few tips…
Spend your student loan on a designer handbag
In order to live the lavish lifestyle of Kim K, you’re going to need to splash out on a Louis Vuitton, Hermès or Chanel bag so everyone thinks you’re ridiculously rich.
It’s okay if you can’t afford rent – wouldn’t you rather have a obnoxious bag than a bed to sleep in? If you’re lacking glossy and fabulous jet black hair, you’re also going to need to buy a wig to cover any natural, non-Kardashian hair like I did.
Wear sunglasses EVERYWHERE
Screening in the Arthur and Paula Lucas lecture theatre? It’s fine, you don’t need to see where you’re going or what you’re watching as long as you look like a Hollywood star.
The only credit you’ll be getting for that module in Film Studies will be an F for Fabulous.
What’s more important than being fabulous? Being famous.
Spend some time casually slipping a Pret or Greggs bag into that selfie. The Waterfront Café will have to pay me some major cash for my promotion on Instagram. Advertisement will be key to your fame so don’t be afraid to sell your soul, just like Kimmy.
Keep spending money
Always keep your look updated. Nothing screams “I’m intelligent enough to go to KCL” more than draping yourself in accessories from the King’s shop.
People may think you’re an idiot for spending all your money, but remember you’re intellectual (and fabulous) enough to go to one of the top 20 universities in the world.
Proclaim your importance
Don’t forget to meet and greet =fans outside of the University. Along with these biophysicists, you are going to be the most popular and famous alumni.
Florence Nightingale has nothing on you and your Louis V bag. Kim would trade lab goggles for Givenchy cat eye sunglasses any day. Besides, did Wilkins even realise a white lab coat can be stained by fake tan? I think not.
Ditch the books
Whether it’s keeping up to date with politics or studying for an exam on Neuroscience, reading should be kept to a minimum.
Kim would never be caught dead in last season Balmain, let alone reading Jane Austen or Ernest Hemingway. Reading takes away time that could be spent promoting yourself online or reading US Weekly.