Gay clubs are far better than straight clubs

Oh will there be dancing

national noad

I see more and more straight women (and sometimes men) visiting gay bars and clubs than ever before – and it all makes complete sense.

Girls are tired of their asses being grabbed by drunk alpha males and men who want to sip on a delicious mojito without being judged. So why haven’t you tried a gay bar yet? They’ve got a lot going for them.

werk it

werk it

Haven’t you had enough of house music, with its monotonous beats and not knowing where the song begins or ends? Everyone knows that the best kind of club music is the music which you know all the words to. Listening to gay club music is like taking a trip back in time to the 2000’s when things were simpler and The Spice Girls were all you needed to feel better about yourself. They uplifting tunes give gay bars a much more friendly feel. Sure, Lady Gaga might be a little repetitive at times, but it sure is better than listening to Avicii for the hundredth time.

There will be dancing too. Oh will there be dancing. And it’s a cold hard fact of life that gay men are the best dancers. Straight men are either awkwardly kind of bopping up and down with their hands by their sides or  simulating intercourse with some poor girl. Gay men really fucking go for it.

Maybe it’s because gay clubs are less judgemental, but for some reason there’s just no holding back. Expect exciting, prop-filled, raunchy performances with that aren’t just that annoying guy who always takes his top off on sports night. And you’re into getting naked, there are at least three times the amount of topless men in gay bars – if that’s not a reason to go then I don’t know what is.

Free to be yoself

Free to be yoself

Why do people got to straight clubs? Not to dance, but to pull, and the whole going-out process becomes more of a creepy hunter-gatherer type game to see who can get a girl the fastest. The pressure can become get unbearable.

Perhaps it’s because they are less testosterone-fuelled environments, but generally gay clubs have a more relaxed attitude to this sort of thing than a lot of straight ones.

Come and check out the chilled, fun yet sexy vibes at a gay club. You can wear what you want, dance how you want. There’s not even the tiniest threat of a fist fight – the worst you’ll get is some heated bitching.

And sorry straight boys, but gay men are far better conversationalists. Think genuine compliments about your outfit over horrific pick up lines. A conversation outside a gay night will always make the queue go a hell of a lot faster.

The Tab King’s

last seen today at 09:58

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