A man’s guide to getting more matches on Tinder

According to my brother, the Tinder expert


I approached Tinder more out of boredom than anything else. The idea of cruelly superficially judging people in your area seemed to be too good to miss out on those awkward days in between Christmas and New Year.

My 25-year-old brother, the ex-Tinder pro, was my guide, and these are our tips to getting more matches:

Do not discriminate

sexybod

Click yes to everyone. Tinder is essentially a numbers game: the more people you click yes to, the more matches you will get. I tried this for a day on my brother’s suggestion (he was a perpetual right-swiper), and was shocked by the amount of people who you match but don’t actually say anything to. It’s about a 1:3 ratio.

Naked photos – works both ways

JEFF

Photos in the buff are a blessing and a curse. As a girl it very much depends what image of yourself you wish to portray, what you’re looking to get out of Tinder. If you’re looking for your soul mate, maybe it’s not the way to go. But if you’re looking for the most number of matches possible, then do it. Boys… the jury is out, but safe to say if you look like this guy, and are a fan of ‘Bubble baths, gin and arrows’, maybe steer clear.

Do not be the ugly one in a group of friends

Someone pulled the short straw..

Someone pulled the short straw..

We’ve all had the moment, casually swiping through Tinder in bed one night, and suddenly, Tom, 22, appears. He is the Ryan Gosling of South East London, the cheeky smile and chiselled jaw line. But who is that hobbit standing next to him? You eagerly continue through his photos, and it slowly dawns upon you that Tom is in fact the short one, whose only celeb lookalike is Samwise Gamgee. Avoid the comparisons!

Funny bios

funny bio

A bit of humour in a bio can go a long way towards ‘completing’ Tinder – as I’ve been informed. Apparently sleeping with 5 women off the basis of your Tinder profile constitutes completion, as if it’s Pokemon Silver or GTA.

Lie

lying

The number of teenagers you come across listed as 23, but with ‘oh btw I’m actually 16’ in their bios. I guarantee 60% of people do not read those bios closely enough before swiping right to even care, then it’s up to you to convince your match that you’re worth it.

Don’t put up photos where you look weirdly similar to your family

familyphotos

This is a slightly personal one, but this is just ridiculous and verging on Awkward Family Photos territory. The friend Dani who sent me this genuinely took a few seconds working out which one Alexandar was.

Multiple photos

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Having just one photo on your Tinder looks like a) you either have no social life/are a closet pervert or b) you’re hideously ugly and this was the best photo you could ever have possibly taken #nofilter

No photos with members of the opposite sex

tind9

PDA on Tinder, really?

 

As much as you may get respect from your mates about the photos you may or may not have begged for with the Kate Moss/Liam Hemsworth lookalike at Dstrkt last week, it’s not the way to get a possible future partner interested.

Men: at least 1 photo with puppies or kittens or other small animals

puppy

Puppy love

Here we go, I’ll admit it. It works. I will always swipe right on a man with a cute dog. I’m sorry, I hate myself too for conforming to the stereotype but so do 90% of women, so sue me.

No photos with kids

resemblance

Uncanny

They either end up looking like your own, or giving the impression that you’re as broody as Octomom.

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