Fresher Confessions

Being a final year student, I’ve had my fair share of hilarious, embarrassing and stressful moments at King’s. Some of which I will forever find amusing, others which still reduce me to tears. From the most innocent of mishaps to the most flamboyant freshers’ no-nos, we’ve got them all!

Jack Blake, KCL, Final Year

Not knowing how to pronounce the Maughan Library. Still don’t…

Jack can’t pronounce Maughan.

Zenab China, University of Cambridge, 3^rd Year

Forgetting to buy milk, using some which has gone off on your coco pops whilst half asleep; and watching as it turns to mush and proceeding to spit it out with disgust.

Zenab drinks mushy milk.

Ruby Fitz, KCL, Final Year

Forgetting to lock your door in halls and having people constantly walk in at the wrong moment.

Ruby forgets to lock up.

Roxanne Nauth-Misir, Brunel University, 3^rd Year

Buying a crab from the fish stall for dinner for a change from the same old student dinners, and for general fanciness, but not having any equipment to crack it open!

Roxy tries her hand at fine dining.

Ella Rose Cooper, KCL, Final Year

The sanitary bin man walking in to your bathroom to get my bin while I was in the shower… He was more shocked than I was!

Ella interrupts the bin guy.

Asha Sanderson, KCL, Final Year

Being so drunk that the halls security guard has to carry you back to your room.

Asha gets taken home by security guard.

Charley, University of Bath, 1^st Year

Getting home drunk and getting changed but suddenly realizing you need a wee. You risk it and half stumble-hop to the loo at the end of the corridor. Once in there you realize that there are two people outside talking, one of them waiting to use the loo. They don’t leave so you have to tell them you’re naked and shamefully run back to your room.

Charley makes a dash for it.

Amelia Madan, KCL, 3^rd Year

Playing the very easy but ingenious drinking game of drinking on every step down of Hughes Parry Intercollegiate Hall…by my count there about 20 steps per floor, 13 floors. 260 ‘sips’ aren’t enough. We went for it with the beer, wine and vodka. Proud to say I was not sick but my friend broke the rules and had a TC* on the 6th floor. Didn’t walk out of the building straight!

*TC= tactical chunder

Amelia: 260 ‘sips’ aren’t enough!

Dave Sheard, KCL, Final Year

Anything But Clothes party in halls; I turn up wearing literally nothing but a Sainsbury’s bag. Then someone rips it off to get a look at little Dave and there I stand, unashamed in the middle of the bar, bollock-naked. I then proceed to walk back to my room on the other side of campus and as I walk past someone on the phone, I hear her stop talking; full on staring. Eventually I get back to my room when I realize that I have forgotten my keys so I go back to the bar to get the off my friend-still naked… I think I’d left them in my mate’s room or something.

Dave walked back to his room, stark naked.

Anon.

It was my first day of uni and also my 20th Birthday. I ended up getting really drunk and hopped in a taxi with a bunch of strangers instead of my housemates. We went to town; I lost them, then I stumbled home freezing cold.

I got into bed and woke up in the middle of the night to find that my (female) housemate had got into my bed with me (without my knowledge or permission). I was shivering with cold and she kept rubbing me to try and warm me up. I managed to escape and asked the other girls in the house to ask her to leave my bed. While I was doing this,  the guy in the room next to me went into my room and had sex with her. Once they left I went to bed and woke up to find my sheets soiled. Eventful first day at uni! Me and the guy ended up good friends. No one really liked the girl.

So there you have it, your very own list of DON’Ts (or perhaps DOs) for your first year at uni.