Hard truths every KCL fresher needs to know

Freshers – I’m sorry to burst your first-year bubble but…


You will start living in the library.

maughan

The worst place on Earth

Find a space and get there before the end-of-year rush when older students WILL kick you out if you open a packet of crisps. It’s just not worth it. Early arrival essential.

No one cares about your hangover (real or exaggerated) at your 9am

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The night before the morning after…

Chances are most people are in the same boat and reminding them of yours doesn’t do their hazy vision and pounding head any favours.

Walkabout Wednesdays are not the be-all and end-all of mid-week clubbing

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Two freshers living it up at Walkies

Hopefully in time, freshers will realise that going to Walkabout every week is useless – it adds nothing to your first-year experience and is in actual fact pretty shit, even if you do want to get with half the Men’s Football team.

Bragging about the lack of revision you’ve done is never going to make you friends

You'll probably just nap instead

Pretending to sleep but actually reading your ass off

Everyone will regard you as, a) a liar, b) hypocritical (how did you get into King’s anyway then?), c) or the opposite, you’re paying £9 grand a year, make the most of it, you ungrateful brat.

GAINING A STONE AS A FRESHER IS NOT A JOKE

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Always a good idea at the time

Gaining a stone as a fresher is no joke… bad food is cheap, and especially tempting are the Krispy Kremes at Tesco Express. ‘I only went in for a meal deal!’ is a common saying around January exam period. Use your cheap gym membership before you can’t fit into your ironically hipster skinny jeans.

A little leniency with your flatmates will go a long way

And if you are going to do this, at least put some kisses at the end

And if you are going to do this, at least put some kisses at the end

These are, after all, the people who you will be spending the majority of your time with for the rest of the year. Drunkenly yelling at them before you all return to your respective suburban nightmares for the festive period is not going to do you any favours come the New Year. Make yourself a mince-pie bridge and get over it.

You are not too cool to go to socials

socials

Five freshers who don’t think they’re too cool for socials

Socials are the best ways at a non-campus uni to meet not only older students but half the people on your course who you’ve only had the awkward half-smile in the lift with. Entertaining, and who doesn’t love a black-tie formal?