Along with being the city of love and the city of lights, Paris has once again been ranked the top student city, closely beating London to the top spot. But we all know that Big Ben beats the Tour Eiffel hands down. Here’s why London will always be better than Paris.

Parlez-vous polite?!

Parisians tend to be assholes. It’s a Wikipedia-certified fact. ‘Paris Syndrome’ is an actual psychological disorder you can develop while visiting Paris.

You want how much?!

Unless you’re going to live on bread, cheese and wine, you’ll be taking out a loan. That’s a €14.86 chicken, my friend.

 

Hipster? Euh, non.

Forget being a quirky hipster. In Paris, everyone’s a hipster.  And if you’re not, you will be persecuted, ridiculed and stared at in disdain.

Without it, you wouldn’t know where you were.

But, let’s be honest, the Eiffel Tower is just a glorified Blackpool Tower.

Reality Battle

One of their top reality TV stars is Nabila who is famous for saying “Hello, like are you serious? You’re a girl and you  don’t have shampoo?!”. Please. Give us ex-Page 3, husband-swapping, everything-implanted, sex-taped author and businesswoman, Katie Price any day.

Burger Bliss

Paris may have more McDonald’s per capita than anywhere outside the US but if you want a real burger, you go to London.

Say what?!

There’s no Primark. Or Burger King.

We got all the fans

You may have the Mona Lisa but we have the only museum in the world dedicated entirely to fans. Marie Antoinette, eat your heart out.

Royal male

In terms of figureheads, we have this.

They have this.

Just non

There are more than 300 languages spoken in London. In Paris, good luck getting help if you don’t ask in French.

C’est la merde

Dog shit is everywhere. Seriously, more merde than pavement. Apparently that’s why London got the 2013 Olympics and Paris didn’t…

Breakfast club

A London breakfast is sausage, eggs, beans, toast, black pudding, bacon, tomato, mushrooms, and hash browns and costs you £3.50 at Spoons. A Parisian breakfast is a coffee, a croissant and a pack of cigarettes and it’s €9.30.

Parisians are rude pt. 2

So important it needed another post. In fact, Parisians even have an etiquette guide on how NOT to be rude to tourists. Even Parisians know they’re rude.