Every single stereotype you will see at Vensday

It’s a night of cheap thrills, awful outfits and probably an easy shag


There are of course the usual suspects there every week. The rugby lads, the groupies and, without a doubt, the freshers.

They all have their own distinctive personality traits and to be honest Vensday wouldn't be the same without them.

The Groupies

Most commonly found in the Rugby corner, these girls will do anything for a boy in a red and blue striped tie. For "The Groupies" Wednesday night really is the most prestigious event on their social calendar.

They can be typically defined by their mousy brown/blonde-batisted hair, minimal or maximal make-up, jeans and a plain top from Topshop or Missguided-if they're feeling edgy.

Come rain or shine, these girls will be in full attendance to achieve a glimpse of a starry-eyed, notoriously battered, alpha-male to make their panties drop. Despite being no-more than a beat and delete on a Thursday morning, The Groupies really do pack a punch for standing for equality; where even a simple "hello" calls for their round of VKs and snakebites-a house favourite.

So if you fancy a free drink, an easy shag (or two) pop down to Vensday in a Rugby tie, or join the club, it will guarantee a night that will make you feel like the most eligible bachelor on campus.

The Rugby Lads

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Despite being mediocre Rugby players sitting at halfway in the BUCS table, these blokes are treated like celebrities on campus. Whether dressed in fetish costumes, rocking horrendous moustaches, or half an eyebrow, these boys still manage to attract hordes of girls on a weekly basis.

The Society Girls

If you ever find yourself amidst the terms "Yaaaas", "Woooo" or "Omg I love this song" to Spice Girls or Cotton Eye Joe you have entered the territory of the society girls.

Their talents include being able to recite every song from their Glee or High School Musical playlist, one of which is guaranteed to be their club anthem. And secondly an impeccable social media score, predominantly supported by their society members, full of terrible puns; cringe-worthy hashtags and captions.

The Cheesy Music Lovers

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Typically congregated on the dance floor, the Vensday bottom feeders can be spotted whipping and dabbing with their outlandish friends, creating mosh-pits to Flo Rida and claiming their ode to being cool by knowing a handful of bait grime songs.

Mostly residing from rural-countrified areas, these lot feel most cultured when ordering a cheeseburger and chips from the burger van at the end of the night, and for the rebels that can handle the spice – adding a pinch of salt and ketchup to the mix.

The Third and Fourth Years

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No, this is not an underage Ministry of Sound rave, over 21s actually pay an entry fee to go clubbing here. Despite The Venue’s appearance of an outback shack, and nights primarily designed to attract a young crowd such as Freshers Ball and Vensday, The Venue’s most loyal customers are in fact the most mature students.

To the naked eye, what may seem like a load of grown men in suits and ties hitting on a bunch of innocent freshers who have only just passed their A-Levels and unaware of their fuckboy reputation, is in fact a weekly past time for the third and fourth years.

The Freshers

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The Freshers can be spotted by their awful pulling game, catastrophic fancy dress and being manipulated by their senior society members. Despite being forced to attend Vensday smelling terrible, covered in eggs, flour and beans, and completing degrading tasks publicly due to their lack of consciousness.

These dumb-fucks still pay a £7 entry fee to attend every week. For the virgins whose game is too weak to pull in Venue, the only thing a fresher gains from their night out is an empty wallet, an irreparable reputation and a dwindling sense of shame.

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