What it’s like being the less fit sibling

Biology is a bitch

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It’s just a fact of life that one sibling is always fitter than the others. Yeah, you might all be good looking. You might all even be great looking, but one is definitely better than the rest of you. And they definitely know it.

You can be at a club or family gathering, you could even be going for a casual coffee, and the eyes will slide right past you to the stunner from the same mother. And it’s long past being humiliating. Now, it’s just downright dickish.

Can hold their head up high, while we mere mortals shrink below

Can hold their head up high, while we mere mortals shrink below

For some of us, this physiological preference has been around since birth. To this date extended family members and old friends will reminiscence on how cute, how good-looking, how wonderfully adorable said bonnie babe was as you sit there and wonder where the bloody hell you were when the video camera was rolling.

You’ll single-handedly ruin every school picture for the next 10 years as the good-looking geezer next to you flashes a winning smile and you grimace awkwardly, waiting for the day it gets given out as Christmas presents – another reminder of your bodily ineptitude.

Casual gremlin in the corner

Casual gremlin in the corner

While they’ll glide by on their good looks and charm, you’ll battle down to the books – Lord knows you better be intelligent if you ain’t been blessed by Mother Nature – and they’ll pick up key life skills like confidence, self-esteem and general human interaction.

For others, the curse of the peng sibling came later. Like an ugly duckling, they rose from the ashes, casually picking up dates like likes on Facebook and marvelling, infuriatingly immodestly, about their banging new bod.

Jealousy doesn’t even begin to cover it.

All possibilities of a sibby selfie are ruined...

All possibilities of a sibby selfie are ruined…

Meanwhile, friends and people who can detect the genetic connection sidle up in the hopes of scoring a number. They bat eyelashes at you, inkling at an in, while you imagine slamming your head against a large, steel pole, anguishing at the fact that that would only make you uglier.

This is coupled with the knowledge that no fit friend of the sibling is going to want to date you, especially if you look like them except without their all-important sex appeal.

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And to add insult to serious injury, you are forced to cower in the corner at social events as family don’t even bother asking said sibling if they have a boy/gf as its obvious that they will have a significant other.

You, on the other hand, are perpetually single, compelling the phrase “you’ll meet someone someday” to be echoed around the room.

And while you keep telling yourself that exact phrase over and over, you’ll keep telling yourself you’ll bloom too. You too, will get it from your mama.

In the meantime, just remain resentful for the rest of your life that you didn’t get that exact combination of genes.