Late night special: Asda is the place to be

The hottest venue in Liverpool

asda asda smithdown concert square jmu john moores university socialising

“Is everyone going to town tonight?” Stop right there. You couldn’t be more wrong.

Forget spending hours dolling yourself up for a night on Concert Square, Asda is the only place to spend your Friday nights. If you haven’t checked out their check outs yet, you really should – you’re missing out on some quality socialising.

The food store’s popularity appears to be doing nothing for the confidence of those trying to get in shape, in fear of seeing their one true love on the chocolate isle. It’s common knowledge you are going to collide on isle 24 with the one person you did not want to see.

Third year Hannah told The Tab: “I can’t do my food shopping after the gym any more, because I know I’ll be spotted looking like a drowned rat.”

A student, who preferred to remain anonymous, added: “I saw someone I went on a date with, with his new girlfriend, and I hid behind the toilet roles for a good half an hour.”

Tragic.

Sam Brushett, from the University of Liverpool, said: “I have seen four fights in Asda, all between girls. The store makes me think of pyjamas, curlers, and Irish people.”

It has even become the stomping ground for those seeking out which of their Tinder matches are actually “catfish”.

Jack Hilton, visiting from Manchester, went as far to say: “After seeing a girl I have on Instagram in Asda earlier, I have made a promise to myself to never meet a girl just off their pictures again. I nearly fell into a load of biscuits on isle six when she told me who she was. I’m not being mean but why make out you’re something you’re not.”

Brutal to say the least.

But with the high frequency of academics passing through the supermarket, it seems Asda has become the perfect realm for intellectual conversations.

Shanice Newsholme from John Moores told us: “The checkout assistant told me there’s the same amount of sugar in four Krispy Kreme doughnuts as there is in one standard glass of orange juice.”

Another very helpful assistant told The Tab:  “The busiest is usually a Friday night. Queues will go all the way from the pizza stall to the CD rack.

“I always see students with arms full of alcohol. You spot students here if they are in a big group and are carrying pizza, beer and alcohol.”

This is not something we can deny, nor the grim reality it is only the Asda Smart Price booze we can afford.

Nevertheless, while this place may be the realm of harsh truths and awkward situations, we can’t live without it. It’s life and death. The yin and the yang. The foremost, essential stocker of necessities.